It's like being constipated, you gotta make a few attempts.
But you're usually able to get it out by the turd time.
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Video games and an unrewarding life
- Thread starter 油井緋色
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It's like being constipated, you gotta make a few attempts.
But you're usually able to get it out by the turd time.
油井緋色
Cool look at this issue. Basically you always look up and see you're not at the top but don't look at the pile of bodies below you nor help pull them up. That makes you feel unsuccessful even though against the average you are doing well. Once up there, you want it to be due to your personal effort/skill so you ignore many factors that helped push you up.
www.vox.com
Cool look at this issue. Basically you always look up and see you're not at the top but don't look at the pile of bodies below you nor help pull them up. That makes you feel unsuccessful even though against the average you are doing well. Once up there, you want it to be due to your personal effort/skill so you ignore many factors that helped push you up.
The problem with America’s semi-rich
America’s upper-middle class works more, optimizes their kids, and is miserable.
www.vox.com
油井緋色
Cool look at this issue. Basically you always look up and see you're not at the top but don't look at the pile of bodies below you nor help pull them up. That makes you feel unsuccessful even though against the average you are doing well. Once up there, you want it to be due to your personal effort/skill so you ignore many factors that helped push you up.
The problem with America’s semi-rich
America’s upper-middle class works more, optimizes their kids, and is miserable.
It's a very hard read, a huge cause of cognitive dissonance, and the article sounds whiny from my pov.
I have a friend from high school; lets call her Amy. Amy is 2 years younger than me. On my last 2 years in high school, I went with the "Asian six pack" (3 sciences, 3 maths.) I told her to do the same simply because "this opens more doors than other choices so you don't lock yourself into something."
Instead of doing that, she took art courses, moved out because "I'm sick of my mom" after grade 12 (bleeding money this early is bad), and went to university for arts.
Fast forward to today, nearly 20 years later: we met up, chatted about old times, and she started comparing her current state of life to me. She lives with her parents again due to financial limitations. The starving artist stereotype was so ingrained in my friend it was actually painful to listen to. She then told me I come from a more privileged family
...we've both known each other's childhoods very well. I bit my tongue from yelling ********; the turning point was when I chose to gave up art and she decided to continue it. Would I have liked to make a career out singing? WELL **** YES. I had so much pussy and ass growing up by simply walking into a karaoke room and singing, the attention was intoxicating, and the number of competitions I'd won got into my head and made me feel on top of the world, even Amy fell for me in our early 20s, but guess what? From a statistical (or rational) point of view, there was no ******* way in hell me, as an Asian, in a white/Western country, would break into that. And if I go back to Asia, there's still the "do I want to beg my entire extended family for money because that's how this industry works?" problem.
We had the same starting point, I made my sacrifice earlier because I didn't want financial stress; something her and I both grew up watching within our families. I warned Amy, tried to steer her, and she made her own choices. I had to make the same ******* painful choice, again, when I fell in love with riding to prioritize finances (no pussy or awards from riding though lolol)
I'm miserable and financially good, Amy is miserable and financially horrible. Where the ****'s the privileges in this? lol
Some lack the foresight and/or are unwilling to make sacrifices to improve their situation. I planned to study civil engineering at 14 years old, which I never loved, but figured I was good at physics and I'd end up with a decent job at the end of it. For better or for worse, I never bothered to revisit or question it, just got on with it knowing the outcome would be reasonably good. Undergrad and first years of working were some of the worst years of my life, post-grad was great, and life after 10 years in the industry has never been better. Always loved karting and motorcycles, but they weren't financially viable in my eyes until after 5 years or so of work and paying off debts. Delayed gratification. Everyone is different and we all operate in different ways. Looking inwards rather than outwards helps - your friend saying that you come from a more privileged family does absolutely nothing to improve her situation - looking at herself, her choices, her goals, might...
D
Deleted member 50930
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Amy needs to go dating and find a partner (boy or girl)..
Amy needs to go dating and find a partner (boy or girl)..
So much easier to look above you and say ‘wish I had that’ than it is to look below and say ‘wow I’m super lucky’. Human nature I think.
Same discussion with my friends. Always chasing money. Always someone else has it better. Better job, car, house, whatever material thing.
I could blame my MIL for me getting a belly. Totally not the fact I’m stuffed and will still eat, or have a late night beer….her fault. Not mine.
Same discussion with my friends. Always chasing money. Always someone else has it better. Better job, car, house, whatever material thing.
I could blame my MIL for me getting a belly. Totally not the fact I’m stuffed and will still eat, or have a late night beer….her fault. Not mine.
Ty. Hope life's been good to you!
Amy is in her 30s. I have a mix of single/married/happily forever friends in their 30s...30s dating scene, from stories I've heard, is significantly worse than high school and college lol
D
Deleted member 50930
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Yes dating in your 30s sucks...
For a dog? If that's true riding is way cheaper for me. I wouldn't spend that in a year including insurance and at least one week long bike trip.
The way you keep bringing up the word "roping" I'd say you ARE DEFINATELY NOT happy now.
What would happen if you took a month off the gaming and the smartphone? I'd say you have all to gain and nothing to lose at this point.
I don't "game". The thought of spending time in a virtual reality seems daft when reality is there for the taking.
D
Deleted member 50930
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I think OP is exgratting the unhappiness.
good career
not single
not renting
Has a dog
That is pretty successful
Maybe you need a digital fast like TimTune is suggesting
good career
not single
not renting
Has a dog
That is pretty successful
Maybe you need a digital fast like TimTune is suggesting
I think OP is exgratting the unhappiness.
good career
not single
not renting
Has a dog
That is pretty successful
Maybe you need a digital fast like TimTune is suggesting
Wish I was. Best to describe what's happened is a slow blackhole swirl in the last 5-7 years. I haven't exactly hid it with the posts here lol
I setup a plan for myself to follow for around 15-25 years when I was 25. I am having difficulties executing the same way I did in my 20s now; feels like a master beating the **** out of the slave to keep moving...which worked until I graduated and piled on more responsibilities. My fiancee's mental state isn't far from mine.
So thanks for noticing and suggesting this. Something's clearly wrong when I wake up every Monday hoping the roof falls on my head and I die lol (not suicidal, just very heavy amounts of apathy.)
Now **** my emotions, and back to the grind.
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I probably wasn't feeling as much apathy as you, but when I was 29, I was in a great job with awesome pay and perks and was moving up the corporate ladder. I had no kids, no house, no major responsibilities and life was moving according to the script. I had lot's of great friends, liked the people I was working with, was in great physical shape from all the working out and I was using my university education which seemed to make sense.
After 3 years in my newest role I realized I wasn't happy or being challenged enough in every facet of my life. I could literally play/teach billiards every day in the staff lounge for 3-4 hours and still meet all my work targets. My hobbies even ceased to challenge me the way I needed. I was no longer meeting anyone new that challenged me. I didn't want to be indoors any more working under fluorescent lights in recycled air, and going to a gym in recycled air - I wanted to sweat and get dirty every day and feel like I was doing something meaningful.
The strange thing that spurred the change was that one day I was riding the subway home work and saw one of those free "employment news" on the seat beside me. I picked it up wondering what kinds of stuff was going on in the job market. When I opened the paper, the first thing I saw was an ad asking "Have you ever wanted to work in a greenhouse? Have you ever wanted to work with plants and trees and build beautiful gardens? If so, maybe an apprenticeship in Horticulture is for you!" I immediately realized that I wanted to be one of the largest producers of organic weed in Ontario and this education would get me there. I called the number and it seemed like a great fit for what I was looking for.
Since I was financially very comfortable, I decided to to take a leap of faith in myself and resign from that job and go back to school for horticulture. I also got my bike license right after quitting that job and also resolved to travel/backpack to at least one interesting place each year for the rest of my life. After school I immediately bought a motorcycle, got a job for minimum wage as a gardener/grunt in a high end property maintenance company and quickly moved up, but still only making around $20/hr. Even though it took me over 10 years to get my earnings to the place where they would have been (had I not changed my life direction), it was the best decision I made to try something completely new and uncomfortable and trust that it would give me the happiness/work/life balance. Even when I was not making much money from this change, I was happy.
Motorcycles became an all encompassing new hobby that was mine alone and I could develop in any direction. Even though I never became the commercial weed grower I thought I would become, horticulture became a way for me to earn a living, while doing different things and meeting people that were so different than anything I previously knew. Travelling each year became a way to meet other people and cultures that I would have normally thought nothing of. I am a firm believer that if you have an amazing work ethic and treat everyone around you well, good things will happen.
Maybe all you need is to identify and move away from the things that truly do not being you joy and take a leap of faith towards a different path in life.
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matt365
Well-known member
Man... sometimes when reading your ****, I think I'm going to be reading posts about you deciding to "check out permanently" like Jamie/Toysareforboys.
I'm really hoping that's not the case...
You make your own happiness.
Stop comparing yourself to others.
You need a smack upside the head, but in a good way.
You might say you wouldn't off yourself, but with your mentality, all it would take is a little push.
Sent from my SM-G903W using Tapatalk
Riceburner
Well-known member
Try dating in your 50s....lol
$$$ isn't everything if you have it. If the job pays enough to be comfortable, don't worry about it. Punch the clock and spend the rest of the time doing what you enjoy. Being constructive or wasting time in front of a screen....doesn't matter if you like it. I watch a lot of TV and movies now a days. Did my time raising kids and supporting a family. Been there, done that. No T-shirt.
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Do you have enough disposable income to date university students? I'm half kidding but the number of sugar daddy types that have relationships (normally fleeting ones) with university age girls is quite astounding.
LoL ya….worked with a bunch of older guys who gave up and just told me straight:
“Hookers are cheaper and they leave when they’re done…no more dating”
bigpoppa
Well-known member
do tell, this sounds like the beginning of a good story
I wasn't the dater or the datee but I knew quite a few girls that had relationships with people 20+ years older. Normally lasted less than a year and involved trips, allowance, etc that substantially changed the standard of living of a starving student.
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One memorable event had the older boyfriend doing a 350 km cannonball run in 2:15 in a Jeep while drunk for a booty call. Fack. She told him that she had an exam the next day so she was going to sleep at midnight. He made sure he arrived in time to take advantage of his investment. Moron.
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