We had the talk....... | GTAMotorcycle.com

We had the talk.......

rinomato1

Well-known member
In one of my earlier posts I mentioned how I would love to return to motorcycling after about a 5 year hiatus. God, only knows how long that burning itch of getting back on twos has been following me for.

I Digress.....

My wife knows how hard it was for me to get rid of my motorcycles the time we found out we were expecting. I tried to fill the void of motorcycling by taking up other "hobbies" like golf or cycling which in fact I don't mind at all. HOWEVER, and this is a big BUT... no disrespect to golf or bicycling they just didn't turn my cranks in the same way that riding a motorbike did.

We had some company over last night, my wifes good friend and her husband, and my sister and brother in law. and the topic of hobbies came up and I announced to everyone how i intend at some point in time sooner rather than later plan on getting another motorcycle and returning to THE ONE AND ONLY HOBBY!

silence............ absolutley silent. you could hear a hear a mouse watching his tv I mean it was that silent. Her friend looks to me and just blasts me! "YOURE A FATHER OF TWO SMALL CHILDREN!!! ARE YOU INSANE!?!?...and here it came... "THATS SELFISH OF YOU!!! SHAME ON YOU!" .....

My brotherrin law luckily chimes in and says he was actually thinking of getting a bike too! so now I'm a bit relieved I have someone on my side. anyways after the dust settled and everyone Fu**ed off my wife sat down with me and had the talk.

she said, I know how much it means to you, I know how much you love to ride, I'm just worried it's not the same anymore... But if you want to get back into it, I wont stop you BUT please something reasonable nothing over 600cc NO SPORT BIKES, NO HIGHWAYS NO RIDING LONGER THAN 1 HOUR etc......

that was all fine and dandy but one thing still lingers inside me, just what her friend said that made me think... Selfish and guilty. walking up this morning I felt so guilty because maybe going to the dealership tomorrow and buying another bike is gonna give my wife such anxiety and fear.

at least I know where I stand.
 

Trials

Well-known member
What about the parental responsibility to introduce your kids to safe riding of motorcycles! 😆 If you don't do that, they might end up learning about motorcycles from that crazy kid down the street!
 

rinomato1

Well-known member
What about the parental responsibility to introduce your kids to safe riding of motorcycles! 😆 If you don't do that, they might end up learning about motorcycles from that crazy kid down the street!
lol my kids are still in diapers but definitely will teach them the right way.... I also told my wife as a quip to her saying no highway... I said the highway is much safer as there Is no cross traffic trying to kill you
on a highway we are all moving in the same direction at more or less varying speeds.
 

mimico_polak

Well-known member
Site Supporter
You know, I'm going through the same thing right now. I sold the bike last season because of 3 reasons:

1. I'm a father to 2 young children (3y boy and 8m girl).
2. I'm away so much, that I felt guilty and had a sick feeling in my stomach when I left them behind for being 'selfish' as well. I should be with them considering the amount of time I'm away.
3. I found I wasn't getting as much joy out of it when I was out, and it's very possibly related to #2.

It's definitely in the back of my mind that should something happen, my family is totally ******. There's insurance and all that fun stuff...but you're gone, or even worse...you're horribly injured that need to be taken care of the rest of your life.

As such I'm staying away for a while, it sucks, I hate it, and I want to ride again, but for now I just can't shake that feeling. So I'm trying to fill the void by THINKING that by getting a small sports car (Miata / FRS / 128i / etc) I could get that joy back. And at the same time I could take my little guy with me for drives away from the house. Haven't bought it yet, but I'm going to see a few when I come back to ON next week. Not sure if it'll fill that itch, but I need to try something. I've already caught myself looking at bikes again (Ninja 650, VFR800, etc) and even bikes just for the track, but once again....time away from them when I'm home for a week only.

You do you and find what works for you, but in the end your wife will worry, it will be at the back of your mind, and depending how you deal with it, it could very well be a similar path to mine. Some do it, and I applaud and am jealous of them, but for now...I'm out for a bit. Having a bike sit there gather dust and tempting me is no fun.
 

justride

Well-known member
you need some time for yourself and so does the wife. nothing selfish about that. I think wife having the baby, hormones are in overdrive. the more secure she feels the more anxiety and fear will lessen
 

Low rider

Well-known member
Site Supporter
I had a good friend who was actually on this board many years ago.
He absolutely loved riding. I mean, every spare second he had, he was on his bike.
When he got married, she made him sell the bike.
In retrospect, he was a bit of a SKID on his bike, but a good rider. All he had to do was calm down a bit/

When I spoke to him I told him, he was marrying the wrong girl. Any girl who makes you give up something you absolutely love so you can marry her is a wrong decidion.

I am still friends with him on facebook.
He posts pictures of his daughters and yadda yadda.
All I see is a pu$$y whipped guy biding his time for 26 years, until the girls move out to buy another bike.

Not the life I would want to be in.


My wife knows I love my bike and would never ever suggest I sell it.

She has a bike too.
 

Gary

Well-known member
Site Supporter
So I'm trying to fill the void by THINKING that by getting a small sports car (Miata / FRS / 128i / etc) I could get that joy back. And at the same time I could take my little guy with me for drives away from the house. Haven't bought it yet, but I'm going to see a few when I come back to ON next week. Not sure if it'll fill that itch, but I need to try something.
If your heart and soul is in riding, forget the 'sport' car. Regardless what you buy, it'll still suck. Trust me. I'm living proof.
I bought what I thought was my 'dream' car (650hp Z06). Believe me when I say......."the thrill wears off VERY quickly".
Advise: wait until you're comfortable in the family situation. Might take 20yrs, but it makes getting back in the saddle that much better.
 

rinomato1

Well-known member
You know, I'm going through the same thing right now. I sold the bike last season because of 3 reasons:

1. I'm a father to 2 young children (3y boy and 8m girl).
2. I'm away so much, that I felt guilty and had a sick feeling in my stomach when I left them behind for being 'selfish' as well. I should be with them considering the amount of time I'm away.
3. I found I wasn't getting as much joy out of it when I was out, and it's very possibly related to #2.

It's definitely in the back of my mind that should something happen, my family is totally ******. There's insurance and all that fun stuff...but you're gone, or even worse...you're horribly injured that need to be taken care of the rest of your life.

As such I'm staying away for a while, it sucks, I hate it, and I want to ride again, but for now I just can't shake that feeling. So I'm trying to fill the void by THINKING that by getting a small sports car (Miata / FRS / 128i / etc) I could get that joy back. And at the same time I could take my little guy with me for drives away from the house. Haven't bought it yet, but I'm going to see a few when I come back to ON next week. Not sure if it'll fill that itch, but I need to try something. I've already caught myself looking at bikes again (Ninja 650, VFR800, etc) and even bikes just for the track, but once again....time away from them when I'm home for a week only.

You do you and find what works for you, but in the end your wife will worry, it will be at the back of your mind, and depending how you deal with it, it could very well be a similar path to mine. Some do it, and I applaud and am jealous of them, but for now...I'm out for a bit. Having a bike sit there gather dust and tempting me is no fun.

yeah I totally feel you brother.... I think it's me trying to do the right thing. I get exactly where my wife is coming from. I feel that it's in a way selfish of me to just leave my little ones alone to do something exponentially dangerous as riding a motorcycle.

I go to Italy every year to visit my grandmother and I used to ride over there, I've ridden a lot all over Italy, and I know with great certainty that people CAN RIDE AND DRIVE Over there than people over here. I've ridden to Keywest from here, I've done numerous long distance trips. and I know maybe I've pushed my luck far enough and its a sign from above to just leave it, pack it in.

I know my wife knows how much riding means to me. She didnt MAKE ME sell my bikes, I did it because it was the right thing to do. that being said my little ones mean the world over. where does the bike come into this? the bike is still a great part of who I am.... But it's now become an internal struggle as to am I REALLY going to leave my wife and kids for a weekend or a night to go riding alone on with friends and what if God forbid the worse happens, a crash or date i say worse. is it worth keeping my wife in a state of high anxiety every time I go out for a blast? that's what I'm wrestling with. it's so tough 😭

I'm also considering a sports car too, something I can take the kids in. something that we can all do together my son is 13 months and my daughter is almost 4 so I mean it's something worth thinking About even though my wife said YES!
 

rinomato1

Well-known member
If your heart and soul is in riding, forget the 'sport' car. Regardless what you buy, it'll still suck. Trust me. I'm living proof.
I bought what I thought was my 'dream' car (650hp Z06). Believe me when I say......."the thrill wears off VERY quickly".
Advise: wait until you're comfortable in the family situation. Might take 20yrs, but it makes getting back in the saddle that much better.

I dont mind having a sports car, I've had all sorts while having my twos, I think that becasue the kiddies are young i don't want to be overly selfish and be more inclusive. ain't nothing wrong with 650hp vette!
 

Mad Mike

Well-known member
Had that same talk 25 years ago. At the time I had 1 son and a second on the way, the talk came after I piled my sled into a break away dock on Cooks Bay. We decided to put the speed toys away until my kids and wife could get along fine without me -- we figured that would be about 10 years. For that time I stuck to 125cc dirt bikes, ditched the sleds, and exchanged the speed boat for a small family cruiser. I spent time on cottage roads with my kids riding small dirt bikes and minibikes.

The time passed quickly, the kids grew up and we got to a position where financially I became irrelevant so I headed back to the road.
 

Gary

Well-known member
Site Supporter
QUOTE="rinomato1, post: 2647263, member: 35948"]
I dont mind having a sports car, I've had all sorts while having my twos, I think that becasue the kiddies are young i don't want to be overly selfish and be more inclusive. ain't nothing wrong with 650hp vette!
[/QUOTE]
No, there's nothing wrong with it at all. But. It's still 4 wheels. My truck has 4 wheels.
You know that warm / fuzzy feeling you get when your holding your bike key, and you're just about to shove it in the ignition tumbler.....then you do....you turn it to the right, and press the starter? Then it fires, and you know you're 20-30 seconds from releasing that clutch lever and start rolling?
I don't get any of those feelings in the car. I did. They lasted about a week.
Wanna buy a Vet?
 

rinomato1

Well-known member
No, there's nothing wrong with it at all. But. It's still 4 wheels. My truck has 4 wheels.
You know that warm / fuzzy feeling you get when your holding your bike key, and you're just about to shove it in the ignition tumbler.....then you do....you turn it to the right, and press the starter? Then it fires, and you know you're 20-30 seconds from releasing that clutch lever and start rolling?
I don't get any of those feelings in the car. I did. They lasted about a week.
Wanna buy a Vet?
I know the feeling brother. been riding since 2005 I know the feeling! I miss it so much. BUT as much as I want to buy another bike and I have the green light I'm just struggling with guilt. you know?

lol I'm still deciding what type of car I wanna buy.. I have a few toys in my garage and I'm always looking to add
 

Low rider

Well-known member
Site Supporter
If your heart and soul is in riding, forget the 'sport' car. Regardless what you buy, it'll still suck. Trust me. I'm living proof.
I bought what I thought was my 'dream' car (650hp Z06). Believe me when I say......."the thrill wears off VERY quickly".
Advise: wait until you're comfortable in the family situation. Might take 20yrs, but it makes getting back in the saddle that much better.

In my opinion, you did not buy a sports car with this Z06.
You bought a straight line brute of a car.

Buy a proper Porsche and you would have had a different feeling about it.
My friends 911 4S would kick my bikes ass in any situation when driven correctly.
 

Gary

Well-known member
Site Supporter
Ohhhh I know the feeling. The neighbour let me ride his CB350 honda in 1968. I shelved riding from 1986 to 1999. Kids.
I've been on the pine again since '14. Health issue.
I'm good to go again. No room (or desire) for the car, so it has to go. I'll take a '17 or newer FJR on trade.
 

bigpoppa

Well-known member
Buy a track bike everyone is happy.

As for the bikes are dangerous, a friend of this board was an avid biker, got killed in a car accident....when it’s your time...
This, everyday there are shootings in toronto, everyday people die in car accidents, or pedestrians crossing the street, or people randomly getting cancer.

I also discovered the fountain of youth, about which I might make a thread soon.
 

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