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Product fails

GreyGhost

Well-known member
Site Supporter
This is amazing. A toy cactus that swears in polish and sings a song about doing cocaine. @mimico_polak


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timtune

Well-known member
I kept this label off one of the cans "back in the day" . This site missed that the elephant is seen to be packing quite a set.

 

mimico_polak

Well-known member
Site Supporter
LoL seen it, and found the lyrics to translate into English. Hilarious AF.

EDIT: lyric translation courtesy of Google translate

I only have one thing on my mind
Tylko jedno w głowie mam

Coke five grams fly away alone
Koksu pięć gram odlecieć sam

To the land for oblivion
W krainę za zapomnienia

I have thoughts in my head
W głowie myśli mam

When this condition ends
Kiedy skończy się ten stan

When I'm not alone anymore
Gdy już nie będę sam

Because a white eel will come
Bo wjedzie biały węgorz

I only have one thing on my mind
Tylko jedno w głowie mam

Coke five grams fly away alone
Koksu pięć gram odlecieć sam

Into the land of oblivion
W krainę zapomnienia

I have thoughts in my head
W głowie myśli mam

When this condition ends
Kiedy skończy się ten stan

When I'm not alone anymore
Gdy już nie będę sam

Because a white eel will come
Bo wjedzie biały węgorz
**** me, but I'm having an exit
Ja pierdole ale mam zjazd

I don't catch the stars
Nie chwytam gwiazd

I am lying like a log
Jak kłoda leżę

I can't believe what's happening
Nie wierzę co się dzieje

Like a hungry hen crows
Jak kura z głodu pieje

Like a werewolf to the moon
Jak wilkołak do księżyca

There are holes in my head like a street
W głowie dziury jak ulica

In front of your cabin
Przed twoją chatą

I dissolve like a bar
Rozpuszczam się jak baton

Which is lying on the counter
Który leży na blacie

Going down is like you don't pull
Zejście jest jak nie wciągacie

Brother fucks my fucking face
Bracie kurwa ryj mi krzywi

A brothel in the head like on TV
W głowie burdel jak w TV

I am not surprised by this state of affairs
Mnie nie dziwi taki stan

No stuff in mind of a drug
Brak towaru w myślach ćpam

I will give advice or not
Radę dam albo nie dam

For sale everything from the hut
Wszystko kurwa z chaty sprzedam

I'm actually ****** already
W sumie mam już przejebane

However, everything is sold
Wszystko jednak jest sprzedane

I'm fucking all debts
Ja pierdole same długi

Kinol like in the tabaluga
Kinol jak u tabalugi

Day two without pounding
Dzień drugi bez walenia

Where is the white chemistry snake
Gdzie jest wąż biała chemia

Fucking descent is so exhausting
Jebane zejście tak wykańcza

As if the locusts are hitting you
Jakby w chuja dziabła cię szarańcza

I want chemistry skiing
Chemia party chcę na narty

To the dealer, not to the Alps
Do dilera a nie w alpy

Oh, I'm fucking fictional
O żesz kurwa chyba fiknę

I won't prick anything in my nose
Jak w nochala nic nie psiknę

I want to touch the stars so much
Tak bardzo chcę dotykać gwiazd

But none of this because I have a convention
Ale nic z tego bo mam zjazd

Total fucking descent
Totalne kurwa mega zejście

And I dream of entering a dragon
A marzy mi się smoka wejście

You have money, I owe you too
Masz hajsy Ci też zalegam

Well, ****, I don't run anymore today
No to chuj dziś już nie biegam

I want a leopard kick
Chcę mieć kopa jak pantera

The dealer is not on the line
W krechę nie ma u dilera

Not anymore
Już nie na pewno nie

I think death is breaking me down
Chyba śmierć rozkłada mnie

I won't swallow anything, I have chills
Nic nie przełknę mam dreszcze

**** how much more
Kurwa mać ile jeszcze

This state will continue
Będzie trwał ten stan

I dreamed of a coke van
Śnił mi się koksu van

And hery, I play it for the sake of taste
I hery gram tak dla smaku

I want to drive in a Cadillac
Chce się wozić w cadillacu

I run over my friends with my thoughts
Myślami po znajomych biegam

But everyone owes something
Lecz każdemu coś zalegam

There is no loan option
Odpada opcja pożyczki

Because I trim like scissors
Bo przycinam jak nożyczki

Crap for Discovery
Syf jak na Discovery

I want to shoot like a gun
Chcę wystrzelić jak z giwery

I want hery and other goodies
Chcę hery i inne bajery

You can hear murmurs in the nose of the hollow brick
W nosie pustak słychać szmery

You have the number for the gargamel
Macie numer do gargamela

Maybe he has hera in the boiler
Może u niego w kotle jest hera

I know ****, ****
Wiem głupoty pierdolę

But there is nothing on the table
Ale nie ma nic na stole

And there's a fucking empty space in my pocket
A w kieszeni jebana pustka

Lot six would come in handy
Przydała by się w totka szóstka

Or at least a four
Albo chociaż jakaś czwórka

And I would fly like a swallow
I bym leciał jak jaskółka

Like the bee may
Jak pszczółka maja

Kaja would sing to my ear
Do ucha śpiewała by mi kaja

These are the eggs, I don't believe it
To są jaja no nie wierzę

I lie bent like a dead animal
Wygięty leżę jak zdechłe zwierze

The fever is getting worse
Gorączka w kurwę się nasila

Scarred like a fakir's ass
Poharatany jak dupa fakira

Like a shaggy slut
Jak zdzira wymiętolony

I'm lying fucking hot
Leżę kurwa rozpalony

Hey Johnny, I'd like a sprinkle
Hej Johny chciałbym posypać

And in the meadow to prance like a rabbit
I na łące jak królik brykać

But all the time this descent
Ale cały czas ten zjazd

I wither like a torn weed
Usycham jak wyrwany chwast
I only have one thing on my mind
Tylko jedno w głowie mam

Coke five grams fly away alone
Koksu pięć gram odlecieć sam

To the land for oblivion
W krainę za zapomnienia

I have thoughts in my head
W głowie myśli mam

When this condition ends
Kiedy skończy się ten stan

When I'm not alone anymore
Gdy już nie będę sam

Because a white eel will come
Bo wjedzie biały węgorz

I only have one thing on my mind
Tylko jedno w głowie mam

Coke five grams fly away alone
Koksu pięć gram odlecieć sam

Into the land of oblivion
W krainę zapomnienia

I have thoughts in my head
W głowie myśli mam

When this condition ends
Kiedy skończy się ten stan

When I'm not alone anymore
Gdy już nie będę sam

Because a white eel will come
Bo wjedzie biały węgorz
 

mimico_polak

Well-known member
Site Supporter
Wish I had one of these cacti…price will skyrocket among the Polaks!
 

crankcall

Well-known member
Site Supporter
I cant even speak ( or understand polish) , but i have enough friends pulling this thing out would be a riot.

Couple weeks ago I helped cook at a Polish night event at my boat club. Proposed and hosted by a Polish gal, we purchased most product from church ladies in Hamilton . Another Polish gal at the club was offended and said ' whats next ? Newfy nights? ' ..... well no , next is Indian Food , followed by British dinner, then Newfy night.
I was offended by her being offended, see how this works ?
 

nobbie48

Well-known member
Site Supporter
I cant even speak ( or understand polish) , but i have enough friends pulling this thing out would be a riot.

Couple weeks ago I helped cook at a Polish night event at my boat club. Proposed and hosted by a Polish gal, we purchased most product from church ladies in Hamilton . Another Polish gal at the club was offended and said ' whats next ? Newfy nights? ' ..... well no , next is Indian Food , followed by British dinner, then Newfy night.
I was offended by her being offended, see how this works ?
Back in the day of LP records a friend's family was relocated to a Ukrainian area of Manitoba where as a kid he got a job as a part time DJ at the local radio station. He wasn't Ukrainian and was told to just play records and talk a little.

He started playing the tracks that were marked with an X on the jacket figuring they were the most popular. Uhh, no. They were the ones about Stella and Stephan "Out behind the barn". The switchboard got a lot of calls that day.
 

mimico_polak

Well-known member
Site Supporter
I cant even speak ( or understand polish) , but i have enough friends pulling this thing out would be a riot.

Couple weeks ago I helped cook at a Polish night event at my boat club. Proposed and hosted by a Polish gal, we purchased most product from church ladies in Hamilton . Another Polish gal at the club was offended and said ' whats next ? Newfy nights? ' ..... well no , next is Indian Food , followed by British dinner, then Newfy night.
I was offended by her being offended, see how this works ?
oh man that sounds like fun! LCBO has great Polish beers!

Older Polish gals are very very good at getting offended....very often and for no reason.
 

mimico_polak

Well-known member
Site Supporter
I dunno...I can spot an angry Polak gal from a mile away...the jaw straightens, lower jaw pushes out, and that scowl...no other nationality has that scowl...

When I really want to piss off my wife and sister, I just tell them that they're jaw is creeping forward.
 

crankcall

Well-known member
Site Supporter
cabbage rolls, pierogies , red cabbage with apple, some some of jelly donut deal for dessert . Couple flats of polish beers , started the evening off by doing vodka shots and toasts in Polish .

Best part actually was one toast presented in Polish was ' cheers , you room full of Anglo wankers ' , the three Poles laughed out loud and the rest of the room drank and applauded. Anglo wankers indeed!
 

mimico_polak

Well-known member
Site Supporter
cabbage rolls, pierogies , red cabbage with apple, some some of jelly donut deal for dessert . Couple flats of polish beers , started the evening off by doing vodka shots and toasts in Polish .

Best part actually was one toast presented in Polish was ' cheers , you room full of Anglo wankers ' , the three Poles laughed out loud and the rest of the room drank and applauded. Anglo wankers indeed!
Sounds awesome!
 

mimico_polak

Well-known member
Site Supporter
Didn't think he was actually playing in this one then....


I miss John Candy. Great talent.
 

Wingboy

Well-known member
Moderator
Site Supporter
I saw him with the others at the Old Firehall back in the early 80s. Awesome!
He used to come to Waterloo and pick up university poker games. Fun guy.
 

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