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Product fails

GreyGhost

Well-known member
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This is amazing. A toy cactus that swears in polish and sings a song about doing cocaine. @mimico_polak


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Given how Walmart, Best Buy etc allow third parties to sell through their websites as a marketplace I honestly would expect this kind of thing to happen more often than it does
 
I kept this label off one of the cans "back in the day" . This site missed that the elephant is seen to be packing quite a set.

 
LoL seen it, and found the lyrics to translate into English. Hilarious AF.

EDIT: lyric translation courtesy of Google translate

I only have one thing on my mind
Tylko jedno w głowie mam

Coke five grams fly away alone
Koksu pięć gram odlecieć sam

To the land for oblivion
W krainę za zapomnienia

I have thoughts in my head
W głowie myśli mam

When this condition ends
Kiedy skończy się ten stan

When I'm not alone anymore
Gdy już nie będę sam

Because a white eel will come
Bo wjedzie biały węgorz

I only have one thing on my mind
Tylko jedno w głowie mam

Coke five grams fly away alone
Koksu pięć gram odlecieć sam

Into the land of oblivion
W krainę zapomnienia

I have thoughts in my head
W głowie myśli mam

When this condition ends
Kiedy skończy się ten stan

When I'm not alone anymore
Gdy już nie będę sam

Because a white eel will come
Bo wjedzie biały węgorz
**** me, but I'm having an exit
Ja pierdole ale mam zjazd

I don't catch the stars
Nie chwytam gwiazd

I am lying like a log
Jak kłoda leżę

I can't believe what's happening
Nie wierzę co się dzieje

Like a hungry hen crows
Jak kura z głodu pieje

Like a werewolf to the moon
Jak wilkołak do księżyca

There are holes in my head like a street
W głowie dziury jak ulica

In front of your cabin
Przed twoją chatą

I dissolve like a bar
Rozpuszczam się jak baton

Which is lying on the counter
Który leży na blacie

Going down is like you don't pull
Zejście jest jak nie wciągacie

Brother fucks my ******* face
Bracie kurwa ryj mi krzywi

A brothel in the head like on TV
W głowie burdel jak w TV

I am not surprised by this state of affairs
Mnie nie dziwi taki stan

No stuff in mind of a drug
Brak towaru w myślach ćpam

I will give advice or not
Radę dam albo nie dam

For sale everything from the hut
Wszystko kurwa z chaty sprzedam

I'm actually ****** already
W sumie mam już przejebane

However, everything is sold
Wszystko jednak jest sprzedane

I'm ******* all debts
Ja pierdole same długi

Kinol like in the tabaluga
Kinol jak u tabalugi

Day two without pounding
Dzień drugi bez walenia

Where is the white chemistry snake
Gdzie jest wąż biała chemia

******* descent is so exhausting
Jebane zejście tak wykańcza

As if the locusts are hitting you
Jakby w chuja dziabła cię szarańcza

I want chemistry skiing
Chemia party chcę na narty

To the dealer, not to the Alps
Do dilera a nie w alpy

Oh, I'm ******* fictional
O żesz kurwa chyba fiknę

I won't prick anything in my nose
Jak w nochala nic nie psiknę

I want to touch the stars so much
Tak bardzo chcę dotykać gwiazd

But none of this because I have a convention
Ale nic z tego bo mam zjazd

Total ******* descent
Totalne kurwa mega zejście

And I dream of entering a dragon
A marzy mi się smoka wejście

You have money, I owe you too
Masz hajsy Ci też zalegam

Well, ****, I don't run anymore today
No to chuj dziś już nie biegam

I want a leopard kick
Chcę mieć kopa jak pantera

The dealer is not on the line
W krechę nie ma u dilera

Not anymore
Już nie na pewno nie

I think death is breaking me down
Chyba śmierć rozkłada mnie

I won't swallow anything, I have chills
Nic nie przełknę mam dreszcze

**** how much more
Kurwa mać ile jeszcze

This state will continue
Będzie trwał ten stan

I dreamed of a coke van
Śnił mi się koksu van

And hery, I play it for the sake of taste
I hery gram tak dla smaku

I want to drive in a Cadillac
Chce się wozić w cadillacu

I run over my friends with my thoughts
Myślami po znajomych biegam

But everyone owes something
Lecz każdemu coś zalegam

There is no loan option
Odpada opcja pożyczki

Because I trim like scissors
Bo przycinam jak nożyczki

Crap for Discovery
Syf jak na Discovery

I want to shoot like a gun
Chcę wystrzelić jak z giwery

I want hery and other goodies
Chcę hery i inne bajery

You can hear murmurs in the nose of the hollow brick
W nosie pustak słychać szmery

You have the number for the gargamel
Macie numer do gargamela

Maybe he has hera in the boiler
Może u niego w kotle jest hera

I know ****, ****
Wiem głupoty pierdolę

But there is nothing on the table
Ale nie ma nic na stole

And there's a ******* empty space in my pocket
A w kieszeni jebana pustka

Lot six would come in handy
Przydała by się w totka szóstka

Or at least a four
Albo chociaż jakaś czwórka

And I would fly like a swallow
I bym leciał jak jaskółka

Like the bee may
Jak pszczółka maja

Kaja would sing to my ear
Do ucha śpiewała by mi kaja

These are the eggs, I don't believe it
To są jaja no nie wierzę

I lie bent like a dead animal
Wygięty leżę jak zdechłe zwierze

The fever is getting worse
Gorączka w kurwę się nasila

Scarred like a fakir's ass
Poharatany jak dupa fakira

Like a shaggy slut
Jak zdzira wymiętolony

I'm lying ******* hot
Leżę kurwa rozpalony

Hey Johnny, I'd like a sprinkle
Hej Johny chciałbym posypać

And in the meadow to prance like a rabbit
I na łące jak królik brykać

But all the time this descent
Ale cały czas ten zjazd

I wither like a torn weed
Usycham jak wyrwany chwast
I only have one thing on my mind
Tylko jedno w głowie mam

Coke five grams fly away alone
Koksu pięć gram odlecieć sam

To the land for oblivion
W krainę za zapomnienia

I have thoughts in my head
W głowie myśli mam

When this condition ends
Kiedy skończy się ten stan

When I'm not alone anymore
Gdy już nie będę sam

Because a white eel will come
Bo wjedzie biały węgorz

I only have one thing on my mind
Tylko jedno w głowie mam

Coke five grams fly away alone
Koksu pięć gram odlecieć sam

Into the land of oblivion
W krainę zapomnienia

I have thoughts in my head
W głowie myśli mam

When this condition ends
Kiedy skończy się ten stan

When I'm not alone anymore
Gdy już nie będę sam

Because a white eel will come
Bo wjedzie biały węgorz
 
I cant even speak ( or understand polish) , but i have enough friends pulling this thing out would be a riot.

Couple weeks ago I helped cook at a Polish night event at my boat club. Proposed and hosted by a Polish gal, we purchased most product from church ladies in Hamilton . Another Polish gal at the club was offended and said ' whats next ? Newfy nights? ' ..... well no , next is Indian Food , followed by British dinner, then Newfy night.
I was offended by her being offended, see how this works ?
 
I cant even speak ( or understand polish) , but i have enough friends pulling this thing out would be a riot.

Couple weeks ago I helped cook at a Polish night event at my boat club. Proposed and hosted by a Polish gal, we purchased most product from church ladies in Hamilton . Another Polish gal at the club was offended and said ' whats next ? Newfy nights? ' ..... well no , next is Indian Food , followed by British dinner, then Newfy night.
I was offended by her being offended, see how this works ?
Back in the day of LP records a friend's family was relocated to a Ukrainian area of Manitoba where as a kid he got a job as a part time DJ at the local radio station. He wasn't Ukrainian and was told to just play records and talk a little.

He started playing the tracks that were marked with an X on the jacket figuring they were the most popular. Uhh, no. They were the ones about Stella and Stephan "Out behind the barn". The switchboard got a lot of calls that day.
 
I cant even speak ( or understand polish) , but i have enough friends pulling this thing out would be a riot.

Couple weeks ago I helped cook at a Polish night event at my boat club. Proposed and hosted by a Polish gal, we purchased most product from church ladies in Hamilton . Another Polish gal at the club was offended and said ' whats next ? Newfy nights? ' ..... well no , next is Indian Food , followed by British dinner, then Newfy night.
I was offended by her being offended, see how this works ?
oh man that sounds like fun! LCBO has great Polish beers!

Older Polish gals are very very good at getting offended....very often and for no reason.
 
cabbage rolls, pierogies , red cabbage with apple, some some of jelly donut deal for dessert . Couple flats of polish beers , started the evening off by doing vodka shots and toasts in Polish .

Best part actually was one toast presented in Polish was ' cheers , you room full of Anglo wankers ' , the three Poles laughed out loud and the rest of the room drank and applauded. Anglo wankers indeed!
 
cabbage rolls, pierogies , red cabbage with apple, some some of jelly donut deal for dessert . Couple flats of polish beers , started the evening off by doing vodka shots and toasts in Polish .

Best part actually was one toast presented in Polish was ' cheers , you room full of Anglo wankers ' , the three Poles laughed out loud and the rest of the room drank and applauded. Anglo wankers indeed!
Sounds awesome!
 
Didn't think he was actually playing in this one then....


I miss John Candy. Great talent.
 
I saw him with the others at the Old Firehall back in the early 80s. Awesome!
He used to come to Waterloo and pick up university poker games. Fun guy.
 

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