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jokes
- Thread starter oilycreek
- Start date
A country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting to the time that the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away to school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:
A Bible
A Silver Dollar
A bottle of vodka
A baggie with weed, crack, heroin, and drug paraphernalia.
'I'll just hide behind the door, the preacher said to himself, 'and when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he picks up.'
'If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!'
'If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too.'
'And, if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard, and Lord, what a shame that would be.'
'But worst of all, if he uses the drugs, he will be a morally decrepit junkie, and all is lost.'
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room, he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
Eventually, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.
He picked up the Silver Dollar and dropped into his pocket.
He unscrewed the bottle and took a big drink.
Finally he began to load the crack pipe.
'Lord have mercy,' the old preacher whispered disgustedly,
'He’s going to be the next mayor of Toronto!'
One day, while the boy was away to school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:
A Bible
A Silver Dollar
A bottle of vodka
A baggie with weed, crack, heroin, and drug paraphernalia.
'I'll just hide behind the door, the preacher said to himself, 'and when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he picks up.'
'If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!'
'If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too.'
'And, if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard, and Lord, what a shame that would be.'
'But worst of all, if he uses the drugs, he will be a morally decrepit junkie, and all is lost.'
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room, he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
Eventually, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.
He picked up the Silver Dollar and dropped into his pocket.
He unscrewed the bottle and took a big drink.
Finally he began to load the crack pipe.
'Lord have mercy,' the old preacher whispered disgustedly,
'He’s going to be the next mayor of Toronto!'
Last edited:
oilycreek
Banned
oilycreek
Banned
When George W Bush was president be returned from a trip, when the air force 1 landed, Bush excited with a pot belly in each arm. He said to the soldier that greeted him at the bottom of the steps, "like my pigs soldier"
Soldier "nice pigs sir"
President "I got one for each twin"
Soldier "good trade sir"
Sent from my LG-D803 using Tapatalk
Soldier "nice pigs sir"
President "I got one for each twin"
Soldier "good trade sir"
Sent from my LG-D803 using Tapatalk
Read that one before, nice
The phone rings and Mrs. Smith answers.
"Hello, Mrs. Smith, this is Dr. Brown at General Hospital. Yesterday we tested your husband's blood sample... but we have a problem... we also tested a blood sample from another Mr. Smith, and we don't know which is which. I am sad to say that both tests deliver bad news."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, one sample shows that the patient has Alzheimer's, the other one shows that the patient has AIDS. But we don't know which one is your husband."
"Why don't you repeat the test with new blood samples?"
"The insurance does not pay for a second test."
"What can we do?"
"Take your husband downtown and abandon him there."
"And then?"
"If he returns home, don't sleep with him."
"Hello, Mrs. Smith, this is Dr. Brown at General Hospital. Yesterday we tested your husband's blood sample... but we have a problem... we also tested a blood sample from another Mr. Smith, and we don't know which is which. I am sad to say that both tests deliver bad news."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, one sample shows that the patient has Alzheimer's, the other one shows that the patient has AIDS. But we don't know which one is your husband."
"Why don't you repeat the test with new blood samples?"
"The insurance does not pay for a second test."
"What can we do?"
"Take your husband downtown and abandon him there."
"And then?"
"If he returns home, don't sleep with him."
Sativa Quemador
Well-known member
Little Tommy was 10 yrs old, he had brought his cat to school that day. Seeing this the teacher could help but ask,
"Hi Tommy, why did you bring your cat today??"
Tommy responded,
"I heard my Dad telling my Mom when he drop me off to school, he's going to eat that pussy"
"Hi Tommy, why did you bring your cat today??"
Tommy responded,
"I heard my Dad telling my Mom when he drop me off to school, he's going to eat that pussy"
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