This is my hot sauce story,
Four years ago we took a team to sail a regatta in the Carolina's, after day one when we had done fairly badly we went out to a bar to celebrate our mediocrity. On the wall was hundreds upon hundreds of hot sauces. The guy beside me who was about 8 beers behind asked the waitress , its the Carolina's, they have waitresses not servers, which was the hottest. She pointed top a bottle that was up near the top. Buddy gets the bottle and pours a dollop about the size of a toonie in my palm and says , lick it and I'll buy you a beer. So I lick it. It burns so bad. It burns so bad there is a huge red burnt blister on the palm of my hand where the devil sauce had been.
4 hours later while sleeping in the motel, I guess I scratched my sack and transferred residue and now my balls are on FIRE. I drag myself into the shower and try and calm the pain. Its to no avail. I remember that dairy products have been known to help and there is a coffee maker in the room, so I get about 8 coffee creamers and open them up and slather them on my flaming sack. Its not helping.
My room mate is now rustled from his drunken slumber and turns on the light. I'm naked and covered in coffee creamer. He says tomorrow you get your own room.
At breakfast the next morning he proceeds to tell all the rest of the crew of my indiscretions. A chemical engineer in the group says coffee creamer is just an edible oil and probably made it worse. The waitress listening to the story says yeah, coffee creamer was his biggest issue.
I avoid really hot sauces now.