Anyone else becoming more reclusive?

Jampy00

Jampy00

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This year has been strange to say the least.
One thing I have noticed is that we're becoming far more reclusive.
Changed jobs, keep to myself more. Wife stays in her office at work.
Little to no social media.
Very little forum use (posting) and zero troll feeding.
Unsubscribed from countless emails.
Unsubscribed from streaming services.
Little to no online PC or console gaming.
Little to no social activities with "friends".

We've never been happier. Enjoying stress free time together.
 
I`ve been that way for over 20 years. All my friends and family have died, long ago divorced, no girlfriend, no relentless chaos. Peace of mind and keep my sovereignty and wealth in a world gone mad. If I were any more reclusive, I`d be a little brown spider living in Arizona. ;)
 
WestBrantKid said:
I've also reduced my online footprint. I quit FB during the scamdemic.
I'm now trying to avoid political posts because the reminder of just how corrupt the world has become is pretty stressful.
Otherwise, I've always kept a very small circle.
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How do you quit FB. I can't get them to stop notifying me every time someone I barely know comments on something.

I try to avoid politics. That ship has sailed.

Some estimate 1% of the world population has written a thesis. That means 80 million original theories on what works. Half of them are on oil changes.

I try to focus on happiness but some days I feel like a waif digging through a garbage dump in Brazil trying to find a scrap worth redeeming.

It helps to develop the eye of a photographer, finding character and colour in mundane items.

Look at the donut, not the hole.
 
Jampy00 said:
We've never been happier. Enjoying stress free time together.
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This is the most important line right here.

If it's working for you, then no need to change things to try to conform to what others deem a happy life.

Personally, this year was very social and packed full of riding, so it was another good season. That's my happy place.

I have become a bit reclusive lately, but that's only after the summer ended and I'm definitely suffering from PMS (Parked Motorcycle Syndrome), even though I ride everyday, it's not the same when it's -2C outside and the days are so short.

eh. Snowboarding season starts next month, so at least this is a short period for me.

I'm glad that you're content and found happiness. Most people cannot say the same.
 
nobbie48 said:
How do you quit FB. I can't get them to stop notifying me every time someone I barely know comments on something.
>>>No problem, I`ve never been on any social media platform, never owned a phone either. Life is good.
I try to avoid politics. That ship has sailed.
>>>Same as it ever was, they`re all lying criminals out to grow their bottom line, you and I don`t matter to them.... never have or will. It actually seems there is no point in voting anymore, what ever improves? Tomorrows budget should reinforce that.
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Gotta add that the social media feed is the source of *a lot* of people's feelings of malaise.

My wife is one of those people. Mindless scrolling and then feeling terrible about it afterwards. I don't think it's the "comparison is the thief of joy" aspect of social media that was getting her down, just feeling like she wasted time.

She swore off social media a couple of months ago, only allowing herself a half hour on the weekends and has a timer built into her phone to help her police her scroll time.

Much happier now.

Me, I'm different. I'm on the forums, FB groups, YouTube and Reddit constantly. But I know I have a monomania for motorcycles and that's how I get my fix when even my motorcycle buddies are sick of hearing me talk about motorcycles...
 
Lightcycle said:
Gotta add that the social media feed is the source of *a lot* of people's feelings of malaise.
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True. I had to ban two hardcore Liberal acquaintances that flat-out just made up a fictional reality of their own and wouldn't stop trying to impose it endlessly on me, replete with "apparent" facts that they could never source (and never did). Once I did that, I noticed a lot less stress in my life.

FYI, I am not making it up, these two were like ticks, every time I posted anything, one of them was there looking for blood. Just because I knew them well 35 years ago, I let it go too long. Sometimes you just have to realise that there's no value in a relation anymore.
 
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Shaman said:
True. I had to ban two hardcore Liberal acquaintances that flat-out just made up a fictional reality of their own and wouldn't trying to impose it endlessly on me, replete with "apparent" facts that they could never source (and never did). Once I did that, I noticed a lot less stress in my life.

FYI, I am not making it up, these two were like ticks, every time I posted anything, one of them was there looking for blood. Just because I knew them well 35 years ago, I let it go too long. Sometimes you just have to realise that there's no value in a relation anymore.
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I`ve heard numerous psychiatrists, psychologists and other mental health professionals discuss people with actual psychosis, a break from reality, from social media use. Teenage girls talking suicide if their phone was taken from them.. for real. Rampant levels of anxiety and depression from staring at a screen for endless hours. I wonder if people ever feel they`re being played? This world is in a hard downward spiral.
 
You know gtam is social media, right?

Mild compared to Facebook...


Its good to take a break from it every once and a while.

I rode alot this year. Dirt and street. It was a good season. Ive got some crossover friends between each discipline, but mostly two well defined groups.

One trip to WV, to Hatfield & McCoy's for a dirtbike trip.

One trip to the Gap.

I feel like my insurance costs were justified this year.

Friends drift in and out of our lives. I have a friend I've known since childhood. He's all but disappeared from my life, not without trying to stay connected on my part. Can't be one sided. Can't waste your time on people who dont reciprocate.

Spend time with my 5&8 year old daughters. Spend time with my wife. Work. Ride. Repeat.

The world has always been a political ****-show. The internet and social media has just made it more readily accessible, and every dingbat and doofus has an opinion they want to share.

Sent from my SM-S921W using Tapatalk
 
ADHD diagnoses are way up among the demographic that most uses social media and I've read respectable reports that suggest maybe it’s not ADHD in every case but just a habit now of consuming small pieces of information such that anything longer or more complex is rejected.
 
Reclusive, yup that's me right now. Tooth extraction a few weeks ago followed up with antibiotics. Meds did nothing, so off to my doctor. Stronger antibiotics for another week. Prescribed by the nurse (Dr is too busy. Office is filled too overflow) No change. Went to the hospital yesterday and waited for 4 hours. It's a viral lung infection.
It's was almost entertaining watching the circus of patients filling the emergency room.
 
You start caring less about what people think the older you get and in doing so I stopped spending time with many people who were negative, narcissistic, or just generally sucked the life out of the room. In doing that my circle got smaller and I was more reclusive.
I've never had much social media and other than this forum and googling bikes, cars, and any other fun toys I'm only on social media to look at the for sale sections.
I don't say no to new adventures or meeting fun people but my circle stays pretty small as I only want to be around fun happy people who, like me, have a bit of crazy in them.
 
nobbie48 said:
How do you quit FB. I can't get them to stop notifying me every time someone I barely know comments on something.
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I still have a Facebook account, but only because I use Marketplace. On Android, go to Settings > Apps > App Notifications, and remove notification permission for FB. You'll never get another notification. You'll see the red badge on the Alerts tab when you go to Marketplace, but I ignore that quite easily.
 
Interesting question...and while I enjoy my peace and quiet, we don't want to become too reclusive in our life right now.

We're one of the only couples in the friend group that has small kids so it's easy to get bogged down with the day to day, and basically fall out of the friendships that we've cultivated over the years (20 years at least for me, if not more).

We enjoy going out to meet up with friends and family fairly regularly but not too often.

We just had a 30 person bash at our place a few weeks ago, stupid fun.

Next few weekends, off to see some friends and spend time with them, a big Polish party, and then another big Polish party all within the month of November and I can't wait. @oioioi is very familiar with Andrzejki...even though he refuses to answer my questions when I offer him tickets annually.

We travel to Mexico / Cuba together in groups, hang out in groups, spend holidays, and generally visit one another on the regular within the same group of friends (20-25 people)...and we love it.

The kids keep us busy the rest of the time, and we find that's a good balance for us currently...which may change.

As for FB...sure, we add things now and again so that overseas family / friends can see and keep up to date with what we've got going on and seeing our kids grow.

I've met many people here on GTAM...and I'd like to think I'm considered friendly and able to chat with for the most part. But...🤷‍♂️

To each their own.
 
mimico_polak said:
To each their own.
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Exactly, change of behavior is done over time and for many reasons.
In my example, nothing was done through anger or negative means.
It was just done. Only through looking back did we realize the positive effects of our choices. We still enjoy social activities, we just put more thought into how we choose to spend our time and we're not afraid to say no.
 
My close group of friends consisted of 3 boys I grew up with. We lived on the same street and were friends since about 5-6 years old, and one came along at 11 years old. We knew each other better than we knew ourselves. Finished each other's sentences, had inside jokes that required just a look, and could impart a wealth of information in just a few words. We went through high school together, knew each others families.. you get the picture.

When I was in my early 30s we had what I'd call a falling-out. Since then, I find it very difficult to get close to people. I think it has something to do with knowing I will never have the kind of bond I had with them. I'll never know anyone as well as I knew them, and nobody will ever understand me as well as there did.

This explains why I'm a loner, but I also think I'm better off now than I would have been otherwise. Today, I'm 100% devoted to my kids. They are the closest I will ever have to the bond I had back then. I love my wife, and we get along very well, but it's not the same, I think because we lived for decades before we meet, whereas my earlier friends and I grew and learned together.
 
I've always had a loner streak ...much rather go on a solo ride than a group. Since leaving Canada the riding contacts have dwindled and I'm just not riding enough plus most are off road riders here. Can't tolerate much above 300 km a day - weight loss while good has removed some padding.
I am clinging to a vital social contact with my uni best friend and at the time riding buddy. We email a few times a week, he up dates me on others from the same close circle. ...Victoria Day Holding Company.....all uni or bridge friends plus spouses and we would go on adventures together and even bought a couple of cottages.
Buddy English major as well so shared tastes in literature and movies.

I've thought about joining duplicate bridge club here or the lawn bowling place we go for Thursday suppers but shied away.
The Bowls club on Thursday is about our only social event - once in a while an orchestra night out. Partner slightly anti-social as well - quite happy in her own world of music and audio books. I like that she does not look to me for entertainment. Our daily shared time/space is 3 x Guardian Crosswords at supper then we go our separate ways there rest of the time. We travel well together but that is fading due to lack of money and I'm not walking well - yeah getting old sucks.

I've landed well as far as enjoyable place to live...right now a light breeze and dry 30c at 2 pm. The Pacific keeps the heat in check - small city so no traffic. Surrounded by shady rain forest trees on the open deck ( screened ) on three sides. Human brain is cool and effectively edits out the security screen visually so I focus past it automatically.
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I'm very active online as an offset and enjoy international forums with civilized members and good troll patrols.
Movies books and music are all instantly at hand ...why would I go out.
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Seeing our travel photos ( 20,000+ ) roll through at random is good for me.

When put into a social situation I do okay and enjoy it but not being able to hear well in a noisy place further isolates - plus of course Aussie accents and word use can be a nasty thicket.

Once in a while feel lonely but then think of where I am and the peaceful low stress compared to 50 years in Toronto.
I think the enforced socialization of running the Mac biz pushed me towards recluse tho I liked being able to go to the Forks and talk motorcycles and work at the same time. Was a running joke up there.
Had some great clients and in touch with some still.
If I stopped riding ....and it has been a recurring thought I would really be isolated....so......
"You don't stop riding because you got old...You got old because you stopped riding”
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