Are men more "feminine" today?

[Red695]

How's that weird? My ex (high school) was with me cause I had a nice car, I was with her because she would put out. Pretty straightforward when both parties know what they're in for. Now I'm not anywhere near being that person anymore and she's gotten much much worse, so you can see why guys my age (early 20s) have little to no desire to date. Period.

Just that it is such a concern, that's all. It just never occurred to me that that kind of thing was so common.

 

[kickstartt]

Back in the day a guy having a girlfriend/wife meant many many perks. It meant you got regular sex, dinner made for you every day, the house clean, etc. etc. Women were the prize. It was harder for a single guy to get laid without paying cause people would generally get married early and not as many women were willing to have sex before marriage.

Than things changed, the birth of feminism came and there was more of an equalization between the genders. Most women work now, MANY young women don't even know how to cook and certainly have no interest in staying home and catering to a man's will. On the other hand many men now became MORE independent out of necessity. We cook our own meals, do our own groceries and look after our own houses. We don't NEED women for any of this stuff. Most men I know in their 40's and 50's don't even know how to make tea!!! Now most of the "hot girls" in their teens and twenties are the ones who don't know how to turn on an oven let alone cook you dinner.

So what do I, as a guy get from being in a relationship now? Someone to take care of you? Nope? Warm meals? Nope. Clean house? NOpe....get married and divorced and you will have NO house. Regular sex? Ok, that's still true. But if a guy wants to just bust a nut now there is SOOO much freely available porn on the internet now that you can access in about five seconds and than instead of having to listen to a girl nag for the next two hours you can go back to some entertaining video games. Of course sex is better, but how much better? Does it justify the effort you have to put in?

And here lies the final nail in the coffin. Now adays women actually have BIGGER egos and expect the guy to put in MORE effort to have sex and/or date them than before. So wait a minute. As a guy now there is far fewer benefits to having a gf but the amount of effort to obtain one is greater? YOu know what? Maybe I'll just stay home and play video games and look at some porn. I think when you look at most men dating age now you will see they hold a similar opinion.

PS: I have a girlfriend and she's great. But if I'm getting into a relationship I do expect MORE from a girl than just having a vagina, and a pulse. I expect her to put in at least close to as much effort into a relationship than me.

good post

 

[TheNewDude]

After seeing Steve Carell getting his chest waxed in The 40 Year Old Virgin, I have absolutely no desire to wax anything! EVER! Seemed like it hurt like hell!
I have respect for women who wax there pubes.

 

[rmemedic]

I think a man should take care of himself but without overdoing it. I've too many guys with pencil thin arched eyebrows.

Gotta admit, I shave/trim certain spots and I'm not really a hairy guy... I just like to be clean and presentable in those places if a situation happens. Unibrow isn't allowed so that gets plucked every so often, and work requires me to keep my hair how I do (which I like anyways). But, some go way too far, and around here they get poked on for it.

If a guy spends more time in the bathroom than me he's not making the cut. I'm pretty dam low maintenance too.

But this is about more than grooming habits. When I'm doing all the yardwork year round, working full time, cooking, cleaning, painting and installing flooring by myself while the man is glued to video games it's not a relationship any more.

YEs I'm bitter and no man will tempt me again. I can hire a male escort and be perfectly happy on my own!

You obviously haven't met a country boy. I have a PS3, but hardly know how to do anything but turn it on and off, those 13 year old kids pwn me so I don't bother. Only game I ever play is one that basically teaches me guitar, so really I'm just jamming, which I do without my console.
Grew up installing flooring, working on a farm, had "chores" around the house as I was the "man" with a single mom, always had some type of jeep/truck/sled/bike to play with and work on, and now I've moved on to include fixing really physically messed up people, had jobs building houses and doing renovations, so I'm a handy dude... And better yet, I would rather be out in the garage all greasy fixing stuff, or out in the yard getting a sweat on enjoying the sun doing some work than trapped in the house staring at the tube... I'll save that for the crappy winter days that I'm not out skiing or sledding.

Play some of the roughest sports there is, I'm sore Monday mornings from actually playing hard on the weekends, and usually have a new bruise or limp to show off when I come in to work.

And, there is a protective side I think most guys don't have. Most guys won't risk their safety or clean clothes to help someone else, and most will back down from a challenge to fight. That's something I avoid, but sometimes it has to be done (I believe Kenny Rogers has a song about the "coward" sticking up for his woman and layin the smack down)
There are manly guys that have what women are looking for are out there... We just don't always look like pretty boys or scum bags, it's those guys that are "normal" that get overlooked that are usually the most surprising.

Back in the day a guy having a girlfriend/wife meant many many perks. It meant you got regular sex, dinner made for you every day, the house clean, etc. etc. Women were the prize. It was harder for a single guy to get laid without paying cause people would generally get married early and not as many women were willing to have sex before marriage.

Than things changed, the birth of feminism came and there was more of an equalization between the genders. Most women work now, MANY young women don't even know how to cook and certainly have no interest in staying home and catering to a man's will. On the other hand many men now became MORE independent out of necessity. We cook our own meals, do our own groceries and look after our own houses. We don't NEED women for any of this stuff. Most men I know in their 40's and 50's don't even know how to make tea!!! Now most of the "hot girls" in their teens and twenties are the ones who don't know how to turn on an oven let alone cook you dinner.

So what do I, as a guy get from being in a relationship now? Someone to take care of you? Nope? Warm meals? Nope. Clean house? NOpe....get married and divorced and you will have NO house. Regular sex? Ok, that's still true. But if a guy wants to just bust a nut now there is SOOO much freely available porn on the internet now that you can access in about five seconds and than instead of having to listen to a girl nag for the next two hours you can go back to some entertaining video games. Of course sex is better, but how much better? Does it justify the effort you have to put in?

And here lies the final nail in the coffin. Now adays women actually have BIGGER egos and expect the guy to put in MORE effort to have sex and/or date them than before. So wait a minute. As a guy now there is far fewer benefits to having a gf but the amount of effort to obtain one is greater? YOu know what? Maybe I'll just stay home and play video games and look at some porn. I think when you look at most men dating age now you will see they hold a similar opinion.

PS: I have a girlfriend and she's great. But if I'm getting into a relationship I do expect MORE from a girl than just having a vagina, and a pulse. I expect her to put in at least close to as much effort into a relationship than me.

Perfect.
Here's what I've received from my relationships that was worth it:
Some good sex, some fun memories, and one of them was there for the hardest time of my life (but then she made that time even worse near the end). That's pretty much it.

Here's the crappy stuff:
$3000 in the hole for a freakin' ring that I'm glad she never got since I found out she was cheating while I was away, working, making money so we could have a life together when I got home.
A bashed up mentality on women. I have very very little interest in getting close to someone and putting trust in someone enough to rely on them.
Lots of wasted $ and time on dates and short relationships that have for very few times as a result of me gone sour. I'll admit, I have screwed up a time or two, but not to the severity that I've been handed.

So why would I put things on the back burner that I love to do like hanging out with my buddies (no drama, no stress) racing my bike (what woman wants to come to the track and camp all weekend) going where I want when I want, and having no stress or concern about where she is and who she's doing.

Didn't intend to turn it in to a relationship thread...

On topic, I think most guys are too feminized. If you're afraid to get dirty, play rough, sweat, or care about what tag is on the collar of your shirt, you're too girly.
If you have no spine then you don't deserve to walk around with ILS (invisible Lat syndrome).
If you don't stand up for what you believe in, OR have the balls to admit you were wrong and apologize and truly mean it.
If you wouldn't risk yourself or make a sacrifice to help someone truly in need.
If you don't treat people with respect:
You are NOT a MAN.

Being a man isn't about the show you put on, or how you look. It's the person you are on the inside, that you put forward for the world to see with no GAF.

 

[Scary]

This thread is beginning to read like a personals section :violent1:

 

[rmemedic]

This thread is beginning to read like a personals section :violent1:

Ha no, there are just people on here giving out examples...
I actually haven't seen people post in here that I assume are the girly types of guys. Go figure!

Oh, and I know I quoted and replied to Charly, but that was just a "keep your chin up, champ" reply, I don't stand a chance with that one!

 

[AngelEyez]

Wow a lot of embittered people... What I see from these shallow posts of "oh it used to be I'd get a good meal, and a clean house and now feminism blah blah and women don't know how to cook anymore" and all the proverbial thumbs up from the guys about this post - is zero value being put on what I believe are the most valuable attributes to be gained from a good relationship - respect, honesty, openness, loyalty, trust, a desire of both people to nurture each others genuine welfare and personal growth, support and encouragement through trying times in life, and to plan a future of happy shared memories. These are all INTANGIBLE assets in a relationship that make it worth it.

Also if finding these hairless chested men attractive makes me gay then yes I'm a lesbian

 

[r6rollin]

Because you aren't sure and need to ask the internet?

all this is genuinely upsetting lol

 

[rmemedic]

Wow a lot of embittered people... What I see from these shallow posts of "oh it used to be I'd get a good meal, and a clean house and now feminism blah blah and women don't know how to cook anymore" and all the proverbial thumbs up from the guys about this post - is zero value being put on what I believe are the most valuable attributes to be gained from a good relationship - respect, honesty, openness, loyalty, trust, a desire of both people to nurture each others genuine welfare and personal growth, support and encouragement through trying times in life, and to plan a future of happy shared memories. These are all INTANGIBLE assets in a relationship that make it worth it.

Also View attachment 29338 if finding these hairless chested men attractive makes me gay then yes I'm a lesbian

Those guys in that picture are the metrosexual "look at me, I'm prettier than you" kind of guys that are stuck on themselves and "too good" to do real work and get dirty. They're likely too in to themselves to give a damn about you, your needs, goals etc as they would consider you lucky just to be able to get on your knees for them.

The things I loved about my almost fiance are those things you listed that are important, and that's why even after all she did I still care about her to some extent. Those things listed, are what a man needs to show to be a man (I am just not very good at getting thoughts out and couldn't explain it in my post... A guy thing)

 

[redridernl]

Wow a lot of embittered people... What I see from these shallow posts of "oh it used to be I'd get a good meal, and a clean house and now feminism blah blah and women don't know how to cook anymore" and all the proverbial thumbs up from the guys about this post - is zero value being put on what I believe are the most valuable attributes to be gained from a good relationship - respect, honesty, openness, loyalty, trust, a desire of both people to nurture each others genuine welfare and personal growth, support and encouragement through trying times in life, and to plan a future of happy shared memories. These are all INTANGIBLE assets in a relationship that make it worth it.

Also View attachment 29338 if finding these hairless chested men attractive makes me gay then yes I'm a lesbian

I think you missed the point of that post completely. It wasn't that we want those things it was that we don't need women to do those things for us.

 

[killerkeith]

Single people are funny.

Pick someone before you all die alone.

 

[OpenGambit]

I am still old fashioned.

I don't expect a girl to pay, carry anything, open doors. I'll buy gifts, give you a credit card, take your parents to dinner, open your car doors, all the old school stuff.
But I do expect to come home to a nice house and a hot meal (not every day, but I don't want to have to go out to eat every day), I want someone good with kids, make some effort to make sure I am eating healthy, be nice to my parents ( or try to be ) someone who'll be supportive and generally has my back ( thats reciprical ).

In short, I definately don't date anyone from work.... lol

I have dated really sucessful, professional people and its kinda ******. both people work 15 hrs a day, we get home and are completely exhausted, its a mess and the cleaning lady doesn't show up till the weekend. We eat instant noodles and go to bed and do it all over again.. The extra income doesn't increase our quality of life, and when you have a bad day, you just look at the other person and you know theirs was just as bad so you don't really have the gas to provide that little bit of comfort. So really whats the point?

 

[TwistedKestrel]

Single people are funny.

Pick someone before you all die alone.

Everybody dies alone.

 

[Roasted]

K, just to make it clear I don't hate life and women lol

I just think that we went through that whole shift in gender roles and we haven't quite adjusted to it all yet. Women are getting less out of relationships now too. I mean, they have to work and make their own money too now and most guys like me now adays will split bills/costs with girls and not pay for everything. I also do think there is a hormonal issue with men too causing them to not go after women as much. And the cause of this? Well, here is a possible explanation:

[video=youtube;wSF82AwSDiU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU[/video]

^I honestly think there might be some truth to this

 

[rmemedic]

I think you missed the point of that post completely. It wasn't that we want those things it was that we don't need women to do those things for us.

Exactly. I need to see where the positives are in dating someone in order to date them. I have a pretty good life alone, so to bring someone in, they need to add to it, not take from it. If I change what makes me happy to put up with someone's BS, then she better be providing me with something that makes it worth it in the end.

Single people are funny.

Pick someone before you all die alone.

That is a fear that makes most people make wrong decisions and end up with someone they aren't happy with.
I'd rather be alone and happy and horny, than to be angry with my life for being stuck with someone I don't really want to be around, depressed, and still horny.

Gotta be single to be ready for when she comes around!

 

[rmemedic]

K, just to make it clear I don't hate life and women lol

I just think that we went through that whole shift in gender roles and we haven't quite adjusted to it all yet. Women are getting less out of relationships now too. I mean, they have to work and make their own money too now and most guys like me now adays will split bills/costs with girls and not pay for everything. I also do think there is a hormonal issue with men too causing them to not go after women as much. And the cause of this? Well, here is a possible explanation:

[video=youtube;wSF82AwSDiU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU[/video]

^I honestly think there might be some truth to this

Wow, dude is pretty smart!

However, I'm a little bit upset that I started "late" at 14 when I finally really learned about internet porn.
Curious to if the form of the media changes his ideas... What if it's just Playboys instead of uporn?

 

[Roasted]

Wow, dude is pretty smart!

However, I'm a little bit upset that I started "late" at 14 when I finally really learned about internet porn.
Curious to if the form of the media changes his ideas... What if it's just Playboys instead of uporn?

I think you're pretty close to my age so the "internet porn" we had at 14 before high speed internet was pretty crude. I think his argument is that the rapid delivery, and easy availability is what makes it so bad, so "Playboy" or even low *** vids or pics that take forever to download back then weren't "as bad" for you.

 

[rmemedic]

I think you're pretty close to my age so the "internet porn" we had at 14 before high speed internet was pretty crude. I think his argument is that the rapid delivery, and easy availability is what makes it so bad, so "Playboy" or even low *** vids or pics that take forever to download back then weren't "as bad" for you.

lol yeah, it took FOREVER to download anything half decent, and didn't have a personal computer in my room so there wasn't much access... Usually stuck with the play boys under my mattress.

 

[LePhillou]

lol yeah, it took FOREVER to download anything half decent, and didn't have a personal computer in my room so there wasn't much access... Usually stuck with the play boys under my mattress.

30 second vids in loop ftw

 

[jonpurdy]

Some of us are teachers and require a spotless criminal record. Which means "backing down" from some drunk idiot who wants to fight because you bumped into him at a club.