Anyone else becoming more reclusive?

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I have found my circle of friends my age is dwindling... But the circle is widening with younger folks - my kids friends, most in their 30s, 25 years younger than me.

Many of my kids friends are my friends too. I'm a regular at their BBQs, bar hops, fishing trips, rides, bachelor events.
I think I enjoy the company of my 30 year old buddies better than my peers age group - their GenX parents.

I'm not reclusive but I like a lot of time to myself. Id rather ride or drive all day alone, I like working alone, I like spending a week with just myself, my hobbies are mostly done alone, I do a few with my wife.

On that note, it's time to head off to wat h some football with a gaggle of 30something guys at camp!
 
I miss having a younger circle to socialize with - even at the Bowls club the lack of kids is noticeable and I find it very pleasurable when they are running around and playing with boundless energy....all tween and younger. No teens at all afaik. A few young families.
Step dottors friends are a welcome addition - mid twenties to thirties and all in go-go-go model. It's a good social window we keep open even tho I suffer with the poor hearing, accent and jargon ( they are all in the upper end hospitality industry ). Lots of funny tales of problem customers.
 
Mad Mike said:
I have found my circle of friends my age is dwindling... But the circle is widening with younger folks - my kids friends, most in their 30s, 25 years younger than me.

Many of my kids friends are my friends too. I'm a regular at their BBQs, bar hops, fishing trips, rides, bachelor events.
I think I enjoy the company of my 30 year old buddies better than my peers age group - their GenX parents.

I'm not reclusive but I like a lot of time to myself. Id rather ride or drive all day alone, I like working alone, I like spending a week with just myself, my hobbies are mostly done alone, I do a few with my wife.

On that note, it's time to head off to wat h some football with a gaggle of 30something guys at camp!
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I as at a Home Depot in Vicksburg Mississippi wearing full gear at the checkout and the young lady commented "Aren't you a bit old for that?"

I bit my tongue so as not to offend her but what was she doing the last few days as I rode through the scenery of the Blue Ridge, meeting people and enjoying good company? For her? Watching TV?

Active young people are a delight.
 
My wife could be a recluse, I'm the polar opposite. Its why I ended up in sales , I need social interaction. Belong to a couple clubs , have taken leadership roles in a couple , we have a circle of about 8 couples that see each other alot , we have two couples that we travel alot with. Not sure I actually like myself ....
 
crankcall said:
Not sure I actually like myself ....
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Not sure if I'm misunderstanding, but if you mean what I think you mean, that might be a common feeling with men because I feel the same way quite often.
But then I look around at the people I interact with, the people I meet everyday, the people I know, and realize that I may not be the best bloke in the world, but compared to them, I'm not so bad. I'm a good guy (IMHO), and my kids like me, so I must be alright.
 
Having spent some time with friends in Rome recently, I was struck by how different their social engagement with their neighbours is. Because they live in a medium-density city, and work close to home, much more of their social life revolves around walking and chance meetings with friends and neighbours as they're out and about between work finishing and bed, or on the weekends.

I find urban and suburban life here is much more car-oriented, which cuts you off from chance encounters even if you lived nearby. This means getting together with people has to be much more planned and scheduled, which then leads to a greater sense of expectation and obligation around gatherings, both positive and negative.

I also recall a study that mistakenly attributed wine consumption with improved health, happiness and longer life. It was all over the news cycle for a bit. Turns out, correlation was not causation, and drinking wine in Mediterranean countries was actually a byproduct of a more social life, which left people feeling more fulfilled and engaged into their later years, which is instead what led to a longer life.

This is not to say the Italians I spent time with were living in a state of zen. Complaining bitterly about their own country, especially bureaucracy, is a national sport. But I would say, anecdotally, they were largely much more well-adjusted and able to appreciate life than most Canadians I know.

Obviously, it's not a one-size-fits-all world, and what works for some won't work for another. But on the whole, humans are social creatures, and hanging with people face-to-face is often more important than we think. My personal belief is many fill this void with online engagement (hi!), but it's like emotional junk food. Satisfying in the short-term, hugely damaging in the long-term. I also have a pet theory that our politics reflects this, with far more hatred, paranoia and anger towards our fellow citizens, regardless of political stripe, than we had pre-internet.

My wife and I have started to consciously combat this by walking our dogs more often and for longer, and more in the streets than the park nearby. We find the neighbourhood strolls are great for front-yard chats and catch-ups. Most folks would fall into the acquaintance category rather than true friend, but we've also made some good friends and broadened our circle, which was important with us moving to Hamilton and hardly knowing anyone here, with previous friend circles spread across Toronto, Vancouver, and the East Coast...
 
Maybe I should actually put this in the RV thread as it also applies to that one, but I'll post it here...I've always been fairly reclusive, except for maybe my late teens/early 20s where I had a group of about 15 couples that used to do pretty much everything together...I've always been very comfortable with myself and I remember someone in grade 8 asking me why I didn't have many friends and why I didn't care what people thought of me...don't get me wrong, as a teacher, I've got to be somewhat social (at least with my students; and I am very social with them), however after hours, I prefer being on my own...I love my hubby and we do a lot together, but I don't get anxious/upset/down if he wants to go to his buddy's place on a Saturday to tinker around in the garage doing renos/repairs etc...reason why I mentioned the RV thread is to respond to @Priller and his post about Italy...we have our trailer in a seasonal spot and the park is full of seniors for the most part...while our site is very private (corner lot with trees on three sides and very set back) I go for walks/rides at least 3x/day...go swimming...go to our live bands/dances...go to our line dancing...I'm actually more social there than I've been all my life...I don't call it camping, it's more like glamping (or a home away from home)...thanks for reading my diatribe! :D
 
Priller said:
Having spent some time with friends in Rome recently, I was struck by how different their social engagement with their neighbours is. Because they live in a medium-density city, and work close to home, much more of their social life revolves around walking and chance meetings with friends and neighbours as they're out and about between work finishing and bed, or on the weekends.

I find urban and suburban life here is much more car-oriented, which cuts you off from chance encounters even if you lived nearby. This means getting together with people has to be much more planned and scheduled, which then leads to a greater sense of expectation and obligation around gatherings, both positive and negative.

I also recall a study that mistakenly attributed wine consumption with improved health, happiness and longer life. It was all over the news cycle for a bit. Turns out, correlation was not causation, and drinking wine in Mediterranean countries was actually a byproduct of a more social life, which left people feeling more fulfilled and engaged into their later years, which is instead what led to a longer life.

This is not to say the Italians I spent time with were living in a state of zen. Complaining bitterly about their own country, especially bureaucracy, is a national sport. But I would say, anecdotally, they were largely much more well-adjusted and able to appreciate life than most Canadians I know.

Obviously, it's not a one-size-fits-all world, and what works for some won't work for another. But on the whole, humans are social creatures, and hanging with people face-to-face is often more important than we think. My personal belief is many fill this void with online engagement (hi!), but it's like emotional junk food. Satisfying in the short-term, hugely damaging in the long-term. I also have a pet theory that our politics reflects this, with far more hatred, paranoia and anger towards our fellow citizens, regardless of political stripe, than we had pre-internet.

My wife and I have started to consciously combat this by walking our dogs more often and for longer, and more in the streets than the park nearby. We find the neighbourhood strolls are great for front-yard chats and catch-ups. Most folks would fall into the acquaintance category rather than true friend, but we've also made some good friends and broadened our circle, which was important with us moving to Hamilton and hardly knowing anyone here, with previous friend circles spread across Toronto, Vancouver, and the East Coast...
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In Central and South America I've seen things I'd love to reproduce here but I'm not sure it's possible. In Panama City I watched entire streets of people huddle around TV's outside to watch a boxing match and in the old town in Cartagena when the sun went down people would sit outside and actually chat to each other. The places were vibrant, safe (surprisingly) and there was a great sense of community. The mom and pop food carts would come out and everyone seemed happy.

Here…well, basically “**** you I've got mine” is the rule of the day and to be fair, sometimes I see why. I prefer to have my dogs as company compared to some people. As for being a recluse it has benefits, no one's going to do dumb crap when I ride alone unless it's me doing it. I can stop when I want, take photos. I can chat to a stranger and waste hours as it’s just my own time. Riding/cycling/shooting/hiking these are my zen activities and it’s not quite the same with other people about.
 
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