Spring is just around the corner and soon everyone will be looking to buy and/or sell. I've been browsing online for my new ride for a few months now, and I've had my current bike for sale for a few weeks. I've composed a rant on some of the annoying things that I've seen repeatedly during this time, in the hopes that someone might read this and refrain from repeating them. Everyone feel free to add your own.
Buyers:
Sellers:
Buyers:
- Inquiring with messages the simply say, “Do you still have it?” Are you just asking because you’re curious, or are you going to do something with that information? You might as well skip this and jump right to step #2 which is either:
A) quietly doing nothing
B) asking something more substantial such as, "When are you around? I'd like to come see it." - Sending offers for 65% of the asking price on first contact. No seller is going to take you seriously. Maybe you’ve managed to find the one in a million seller who’s desperate to drop their asking price and give the bike away, but they’re not going to do it to some random guy in an email. If you’re serious about buying it, put in some effort and go see it. Otherwise prepare to be ignored.
- Asking if you can come see it and cancelling or not showing up last minute. Don’t set everything up if you’re not sure you actually care to see it. I understand sometimes things happen, and I myself have had to cancel day of due to unavoidable circumstances. At the very least let the guy know so he’s not waiting around for you.
Sellers:
- Claiming your bike is “rare”, “unique”, or “one of a kind”. Guess what, every bike in the world is “rare”, “unique”, and “one of a kind”. I can buy a smiley face sticker and slap it on the tank. There is now no other bike in the world exactly like it. Guess what else? No one gives a ****. Rare does not equal valuable. I would argue that it’s not worth writing this even for bikes that actually are rare. The people that care already know, and the people that don’t already know don’t care.
- Posting a mostly empty ad and telling people to “contact me for more info” or “photos”. It takes more time to send info and photos to a single person than it does to put them into the ad. It makes you sound like you don't believe anyone will be interested enough, so you won't bother doing any more until you're proven wrong. People will assume you're lazy and that’s your attitude towards the bike’s maintenance. It also suggests maybe you have something to hide or you’re ashamed of what people will see and you’re hesitant to give them the info.
- Including a single, underexposed image of part of the back tire that needs to be rotated. Same goes for photos you pulled from a Google image search. If you aren’t competent enough to use a camera or ask someone to help you, you shouldn’t be operating a vehicle. If you can’t be bothered to roll it out of your packed garage for 5 minutes then you’re lazy, and we’ve already covered that.
- Saying your bike is “mint” or “showroom condition”. “Bike is mint except for a big dent in the gas tank.” If you want to show off how clean it is and how well you’ve taken care of it, then SHOW it using photos.
- Writing things like “uber fast breaks just dun”. You sound like a drunk 14 year old girl. I don’t want to talk to you.
- Saying you’re “just testing the waters”. No you’re not, you’re looking to exchange it for money. You’re not making yourself look hard, you’re making yourself look like an difficult dick and letting people know that they’d rather not have to deal with you.
- Telling people how “it’s you’re baby”, and “you don’t want to sell it but you have to.” Apparently you don’t want to keep it enough to turn down money.
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