Sometimes you have to fire the customer

TK4

Well-known member
Pittsburgh, PA — Waitress Arrested After Using the Restaurant’s Leaf Blower to Blast a Zero-Tip Table Out the Door

Pittsburgh police arrested 27-year-old Jordyn Hale at Steel City Smokehouse after she allegedly grabbed the restaurant’s leaf blower from the storage closet and used it to physically “encourage” a non-tipping table to leave.

Witnesses say the four-top treated Jordyn like a personal assistant. They sent their ribs back twice for being “too rib-like,” asked for eight drink refills, made her rehearse the specials “with more enthusiasm,” and complained that the barbecue sauce “wasn’t spiritually resonating.”

Jordyn kept her composure — until she collected the bill.

They left zero dollars on a $168 tab and wrote:

“You didn’t uplift our dining experience.”

Jordyn stared at the message, nodded once, and walked to the back where the cleaning equipment was stored.

She returned holding a leaf blower.

The table looked confused.

Jordyn plugged it in, pointed it at them, and yelled:

“GET UPLIFTED, THEN!”

She flipped the switch.

A roaring gust blasted napkins, sauce cups, and menus into the air. The group shrieked as their hair flew back like a wind tunnel photoshoot. One man grabbed his toupee mid-flight. A woman lost control of her scarf as it whipped into the next booth.

Someone yelled, “SHE’S AIR-FRYING THE CUSTOMERS!”

Jordyn shouted:

“THIS IS WHAT UNDERAPPRECIATION FEELS LIKE — HIGH VELOCITY!”

By the time police arrived, she was herding the group toward the exit with the leaf blower like a chaotic shepherd.

She was arrested for harassment and creating a hazard.

As she was escorted out, she yelled:

“YOU WANT UPLIFTING? TIP NEXT TIME!”
 
Funny story. Bollocks, but still funny.
A story from a guy I worked with in the mid 1960's. He was in the folk music scene and Yorkville wasn't snob city.

A half dozen guys came into one of the coffee shops and hassled the waitress, one asking for his coffee in a clean cup.

When she brought the coffees she asked, "Which one of you wanted the clean cup?"
 
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