Entertaining Ad | GTAMotorcycle.com

Entertaining Ad

Sebi

Don't call me Shirley
Site Supporter

And in case it get's taken down eventually, here's the description. Would you buy this bike? :D


"THIS.IS.THE.ONE! The bike Donald Trump himself wheelied off into the sunset when he left Ivana. (Donald didn't actually ride this bike, but damn doesn't he look good standing over it?) This beautiful example of what a college sl*t would look like if she had 2 wheels spread 54.3 inches apart (instead of 2 legs) and could do the walk of shame faster than Usain Bolt is finally on the market and available for sale to one and only one buyer (go figure, although feel free to share with friends post-purchase, they will love the ride too!). Sharper looking than a samurai sword and smoother moving than an 18yr old female, you are looking in the right spot. BIKE SPONSORED BY @MOTORCYCLEMAFIA (If you don't know who they are I feel sorry for you) NEVER TRACKED (I get dizzy easy and am out of shape), NEVER STUNTED (F*ck a wheelie, this bike has 2 wheels) & NEVER DROPPED (Would you toss your girlfriend/wife around?)

SPECS: 599ceecee's (More than enough to get Kiki to love you over the next loser) Blue/Black (Unless you are colour blind then it could be Green/Black, Pink/Black, Red/Black, Yellow/Black... whatever your heart desires and your eyes can see, just remember its the finest example available on the market and has Black on it so its obviously strong, fast, you can beat on it and get this, the kicker is... it is even reliable) 16,000rpms (With a powerband that screams like a cheap hooker, would make the stock market jealous and guarantees your girl "finishes" first.... it's like music to anyone's ears and gets you from first base to homeplate in no time* (*once you learn to drag knees)) 6-speed manual gearbox w/slippery clutch (Well duh, what sportbike comes automatic?) 135hp (Yes we got all those horses in such a tight compartment, highest in the 600 category by a longshot) 43.3lb ft torque (She goes, less torque than all other 600's that year for weight reduction obviously) Top Speed 160mph (No Honda Civic stands a chance) 2 Wheels (Yup, both are included) 2 Clip-On Bars (Yup, you definitely need both to hang on here) Front/Rear Brakes (Yup, got those too) Approx. 19,950kms (Mild abuse over 10yrs, 61 police chases (...and counting) and 0 tickets! This thoroughbred is a winner!! Bet big on Yami) Chain Drive (Flava Flave ain't got sh*t on this) Suspension: Front Forks & Rear Single Shock (Great for on-road and off-roading if you get yourself into a "situation" and need a last ditch exit strategy) Seat Height 33.5" (Sorry little people, no ladder/steps included) Fuel Economy 220Kms/tank (Shouldn't take you this much to run if you know how to ride) Fly-by-wire throttle (Yup, got that too) Magnesium Subframe (Don't try to pawn it off, I already tried no luck) Passenger seat included (No pantydropping necessary, passengers on this sexy beast don't usually wear any)

AFTERMARKET PARTS: Termignomnomnomi Exhaust (This Italian heat pipe eats up the competition and spits them out (See previous reference re: a cheap hooker)) Renthal Grips (Great grip for holding on if/when you ride dirty) Homemade Fender Eliminator (Who wants to drag the starship enterprise around? PLUS free 407 use!!) Rear Integrated Taillight (All the blinky blinkies in one spot) MRA Dark Tint Windscreen (Go ahead stand on it if you want, strong like Bull) Black PazZZzzZzzo Levers (Don't sleep on these) Dunlop Sportmax Q3 Tires (Gotta get you some of that sticky icky icky)

REASON FOR SELLING: Apparently this bike is MUCH faster than my pullout game (3 kids in 4 years, when I'm not working 23hrs/day to support the famdamily I'm changing sh*tty diapers)... if your gf/wife wants a baby tell her you NEED this bike first.

PRICE: $2020 + $3879.99 (For fresh'ish oil, alittle bit of gasoline, bikini bikewash, some brake dust and chicken strips removed for street cred) = $5899.99 (For the mathematically slow...don't be cheap, this is an easy way to leave your gf/wife for some real fun... or keep her and pickup afew side-chicks on King St downtown while out posing with the squad)

DON'T MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY!! (LIKE YOU DID ON FRIDAY NIGHT AT THE BAR WHEN THAT CHICK WAS ALL OVER YOUR JUNK BUT YOU WERE THE DD AND YOUR "BOYS" WANTED TO LEAVE TO GET STREET MEAT) REPOST / SHARE THIS AD! Help with the sale and your friend who buys this "bikeporn" will definitely owe you a Tim Hortons large double-double (with a sleeve on the cup to protect your lady hands) Disclaimer - Limited Edition MotorcycleMafia Hoodie not included in sale (Get your own merch cheapa**) If you've already read this far (good on you, shows commitment) you likely have your d*ck in one hand and your credit card in the other.... sorry junior I'm not a credit/debit card machine... cash/certified cheque/money orders only! NO BITCOIN or NIGERIAN WIRE TRANSFERS PLEASE! NO TEST PILOTS UNLESS YOU BRING YOUR GF/WIFE/HOT FEMALE FRIEND FOR MY SON TO TEST OUT!"
 
it's been up for a long, long while.
 
Prices right now are silly high, I'm hoping they drop to more reasonable levels in the fall; I have my eye out for a KTM :)
 
I suspect the SS market will crash. People are finding themselves blacklisted/non-renewed. If they opt not to ride dirty they will be flooding the market for people who are likely in the same boat.

If you're hunting for a SS id hold out till next spring. Watch the naked market become more competitive as a result.
 

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