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Breaking Ties With My Family To Obtain A Motorcycle.
- Thread starter 2KTo1M
- Start date
You're not Asian are you? Likely some kind North American or European ancestry? You should be really grateful for the stability of your upbringing and what you brought for your kids because there are many others who are not brought up that way. Accept the fact that everyone is different and there is no real "best way." At the same time, I have been envious of the friendly relationship my white friends and their parents have.
Here are a few scenarios either I've been apart of or heard of that completely blur your line of black and white thinking:
The Forced Marriage
Mother puts oldest daughter in pre-arranged marriage. Guy treats daughter incredibly well for a few years. Guy suddenly disappears after getting Canadian citizenship. A few years pass and daughter is forced to move back to parent's because she was a house wife at age 18, has zero skills, and was somehow living with a sexually abusive boy friend. Mother has overly restrictive rules. Daughter blames her entire life going wrong on her mother. Daughter tries to strangle mother. Police are called. Father does not want to press charges. Months pass. Daughter is now manipulating mother. Every other sibling is trying to convince the mom/dad to kick the daughter out.
Projection of Failures
Whenever the mother in this household does not get what she wants, she threatens to divorce or kill herself. This is always a feint. The father would immediately leave the house upon this happening, leaving two kids to deal with a raging unstable mother. Get the mom help you say? The kids are 3 and 6 respectively who don't know any better. The 6 year old tells the 3 year old to go to sleep, and everything will be okay. Meanwhile, the mother is downstairs cutting herself and screaming (look up psychosis.) 6 year old goes downstairs in tears, mother threatens to leave and never come back, 6 year old doesn't know any better and blocks the door.
The above goes on for 15+ years. Best part was, when the 6 year old got older, he drank w/ the dad on a day where the mom was in psychosis and asked "why did you marry this crazy *****?" The dad burst out on tears and said "I am sorry." This is after 15 years of the 6 year old saying "what's going on isn't normal, and we need to fix this."
So dude, with all due respect, take the black and white thinking and chuck it out the window.
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It is far more common than I thought with specifically Asians (including South Asians, aka brown ppl.)
I joined a random online chat because I was bored at work and some guy was asking for help about his mom's out bursts...which sounded very oddly similar to mine. Bunch of other guys started talking about the same issue. All of us were either Taiwanese, Chinese, or Korean. And some of us were from Toronto.
We met up for a drink or two....I never thought there could be a table full of people drinking and laughing about who's mother was closest to actually killing themselves, and who's dad did the least intervention.
So there you go, #AsianParentingFTW
bigpoppa
Well-known member
you think the mafia is bad? My mom came at me with cricket bats(they're bigger than baseball bats) when i was a kid. This was back home, they stopped when we moved to canada, because that stuffs illegal. and you cant bribe the police here
They're also quite victorian in their attitudes about sex (in 2018 )
Ya'll got it easy with your time outs, go to your rooms and 'my roof my rules'
They're also quite victorian in their attitudes about sex (in 2018 )
Ya'll got it easy with your time outs, go to your rooms and 'my roof my rules'
Iceman
Well-known member
There are definitely major differences in households. However I don't ask anything of my kids that is unreasonable. The usual, do chores, homework, show some respect for the people who care for you.油井緋色;2545207 said:
In my house this works because there aren't any crazy people. I can't speak for others and their situations.
I've reread what I wrote, I didn't intend for it to come across as an attack or judgment, more sharing my thoughts on the situation.
Sent from my SM-A500W using Tapatalk
Sounds like you'd fit right in with that bar night I had a few weeks ago <_<
Mine still beat me pretty hard here. They also would beat us more if we didn't wear long sleeves to school the next day to hide the really blue/purple bruises lol
....I'm willing to bet money that the OP's mother may have similar issues too.
What the **** is it with Asians and raising crazy women?! And why do white people have yellow fever?!
My bad, I wasn't sure if it was a "this is how it should be" post or not. I do genuinely wish there were more parents like yourself.
Trials
Well-known member
Toronto; great place to find work, you make lots of money there and spend all of it to live there.
Vancouver!
great place to visit; would never want to live there myself, that would ruin it for going there to visit, could not possibly afford to live there anyway, that city is a money pit. Squamish might be affordable and that would put you right on the Sea to Sky highway! Has a hospital, some light industry, rock climbing, ocean access and a great view of Bald Eagle nests.
I can't stand Chinese, Korean, or Taiwanese women....it all makes sense....
.......damn, I think you should write a book on this lol
Riceburner
Well-known member
Wow...let me know when there's another bar night. Half breed kids don't follow either background it seems. They can be disrespectful sh**s and you can't put them in their place.
Many of us got "put into our place" for many years through extreme violence.
You know what the result was for many of us? Rage.
One of my exs got sexually molested during a party. She called me. The frustration I felt during all those years of being beaten until blue or bleeding presented itself again, but the person causing it was not my parents; there was no reason to not let it all ****ing out. It felt amazing.
..and after letting go, I learned you should never ****ing beat your kids.
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Riceburner
Well-known member
putting them in their place doesn't meant beating. There are many that are just snowflakes.
...I thought you were implying to beat them? I mean that's what those bar nights were for....talking about us getting beaten...lol
Riceburner
Well-known member
油井緋色;2545259 said:
Yeah, got the beatings when young too....till I grabbed the item and said no more.
BigEvilDoer
Well-known member
I see nothing wrong with the occasional swat on the behind if a child needs it... but beatings, no.
The whole PC "talk to your kids and sort it out" thing just doesn't work in so many cases - the child simply doesn't have the mental capacity to fully understand.
You can teach the stupidist animal things with pain - after all, a cow doesn't go near an electric fence once it's been zapped by one, even though it doesn't really hurt it. With a child and a swat on the bottom, it doesn't really hurt - it's more the shock factor (like the aforementioned cow) that does the trick.
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