Are any of you into this stuff?
After graduating from school and spending around ~4 years working, I started losing my mind. It doesn't matter the job, I just can't picture myself doing the same ****ing thing for the next 30~ years while watching my body slowly age.
I started looking into how we got to this point. All I found was a **** ton of horrible atrocities done in the past, with very rationalized reasons as for how we evolved to this point in society.
But every ****ing man-made system, from capitalism to communism, can be exploited. For example: I'm a software developer and I pride myself at being efficient. Back during school days, I'd finish things ASAP and do my best to have December and April free of any work. If I got high marks on projects, I knew I wouldn't have to study for the exams. So I was rewarded for being competent with free time.
Lets contrast the above with the modern 40-hour work week system. I made software designed to secure a multi-million $ deal. I even finished it ahead of time by a month. Did I get rewarded? No. Did I make even 1% of that deal? No. Instead, I got flak for asking for more vacation time. When I told my manager about this, he said "I get it, I don't want to be here either (we're both on Facebook 90% of the time), but if we don't look like we got work, they'll wonder why they need us and fire us."
The above statement led to me realizing why corporate systems seem to always go down on Friday at 3PM...because people will do the least amount of work in the most amount of time to look busy. This means procrastinating until Friday, and realizing there are problems with the software system because nobody ****ing used it until last minute.
This started to truly piss me off, so I started asking "why the **** am I doing this?" Then I realized the following:
We are born as a clean slate.
We are told to go to school in order to be successful, without ever defining success.
We are then told to find a partner, to be happy (this actually makes sense.)
We are then told to have a child, only to have the child repeat the above in order to keep the system going.
This got me into philosophy, which is more rage inducing than anything so far because everything I've read simply talks about problems without any solutions.
For those who have gone through this, and I know there are a lot retired/older folk who visit this site, how the hell did you get past it? At this point even suicide has crossed my mind (will not actually do it!!!!) because unlike the systems I write, I can't change the world.
After graduating from school and spending around ~4 years working, I started losing my mind. It doesn't matter the job, I just can't picture myself doing the same ****ing thing for the next 30~ years while watching my body slowly age.
I started looking into how we got to this point. All I found was a **** ton of horrible atrocities done in the past, with very rationalized reasons as for how we evolved to this point in society.
But every ****ing man-made system, from capitalism to communism, can be exploited. For example: I'm a software developer and I pride myself at being efficient. Back during school days, I'd finish things ASAP and do my best to have December and April free of any work. If I got high marks on projects, I knew I wouldn't have to study for the exams. So I was rewarded for being competent with free time.
Lets contrast the above with the modern 40-hour work week system. I made software designed to secure a multi-million $ deal. I even finished it ahead of time by a month. Did I get rewarded? No. Did I make even 1% of that deal? No. Instead, I got flak for asking for more vacation time. When I told my manager about this, he said "I get it, I don't want to be here either (we're both on Facebook 90% of the time), but if we don't look like we got work, they'll wonder why they need us and fire us."
The above statement led to me realizing why corporate systems seem to always go down on Friday at 3PM...because people will do the least amount of work in the most amount of time to look busy. This means procrastinating until Friday, and realizing there are problems with the software system because nobody ****ing used it until last minute.
This started to truly piss me off, so I started asking "why the **** am I doing this?" Then I realized the following:
We are born as a clean slate.
We are told to go to school in order to be successful, without ever defining success.
We are then told to find a partner, to be happy (this actually makes sense.)
We are then told to have a child, only to have the child repeat the above in order to keep the system going.
This got me into philosophy, which is more rage inducing than anything so far because everything I've read simply talks about problems without any solutions.
For those who have gone through this, and I know there are a lot retired/older folk who visit this site, how the hell did you get past it? At this point even suicide has crossed my mind (will not actually do it!!!!) because unlike the systems I write, I can't change the world.
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