Breaking Ties With My Family To Obtain A Motorcycle. | GTAMotorcycle.com

Breaking Ties With My Family To Obtain A Motorcycle.

2KTo1M

Member
Title probably sounds very dumb, but it's getting to that point.

I'm currently a 19 year old that is about to turn 20 year olds, and currently attending an University in Downtown Toronto.

I've always loved Motorcycles and wanted to join the community ever since I was just a little boy in middle school. My family (parents + extended family members) have always knew I wanted a motorcycle, and have always been against it, it got to the point where at every family parties, my uncles & aunts are always putting me down and saying to stop dreaming about a Motorcycle, calling me names, such as stupid, disgrace to the family (I couldn't careless about this to be honest).

I've always tried sitting down and talking to my parents about getting a Motorcycle ever since I was able to obtain my M1 at the age of 16. Telling them the benefits about it, cheaper on gas, easy parking (big benefit since I'm currently attending school in Downtown Toronto at the moment, free parking for motorcycle as well at my school), where I could be more independent, etc. I also promised to start on a smaller bike (Yamaha R3), take an MSF Course to obtain my M2, wear full gear everytime I ride, but they just don't want to hear it, my mother also acted like a child by throwing a temper by stomping her feets over and over on the floor, and screaming that she will do harmful things to herself if I ever came home with a Motorcycle. My father always takes my mother's side as well because of the ways she acts like a child and threatened to take her life basically if I ever came home with a bike.

I've been working ever since I was 15, many different jobs, saved up a decent amount of funds to be able to start a small business when I was 18. It has been almost 2 years since I've started my small business and I'm very proud to say that I am at the point, where I am able to move out of my parents' house and obtain a nice small condo in Downtown Toronto. I am financially stable to the point, where I am able to pay monthly rent, house expenses, pay for my tuition at University (I am currently not on OSAP or taking any government assistance like many other students are in post-secondary).

I currently take the TTC (public transit) to class and back home everyday, which normally takes over 2 hours each way (if I'm lucky and don't get hit by rush hour). I would rather much use that time to focus on school and my business. I currently don't own a car as well because my parents wouldn't allow me to obtain one because they don't believe I need one and think public transit is fine (even though they haven't been on public transit in over 15 years, they just drive everywhere.) I even offer to purchase a car and take care of insurance on my own, but they still didn't let me get one.

For the past few years, I've taken care of my own tuition expenses, cost of textbooks, school essentials, clothes, food, bus expenses, etc. The only thing I've been relying on my parents was a roof over my head for these past few years. They also think my business is a joke, and that I should be focusing on school instead working on it during my free time. Even though, I proved to them I am financially stable to obtain the things I wanted, do the things many dream of, etc.

At this point, I just feel like my parents are holding me back in life. I am currently in the process of obtaining a small condo to rent and purchasing myself an Yamaha R3. Since I already have my gear on order (Arai Helmet, 2-Piece Dainese Suit, Full Gauntlet Dainese Gloves, Dainese Race Boots, Dainese Back Protector for my Jacket). I've done tons of research over the years as well about which school to take my MSF course, which insurance broker would be the most appropriate for my situation, the cost of everything, etc.

Some may say, I'm young and reckless, but Motorcycles are something that make me happy. Everytime I see a motorcycle driving by, it puts an smile on my face, but also hurts a little on the inside, since I wasn't allow to have one. I'm also an only child, and I don't have many friends (just a few close ones that will always be there for me), which is also another factor on why I want to be a part of a community of people that have the same passion as I do. I've met some amazing people at Motorcycle Shows, a few riders at school as well, and also at BikeNights, basically if I see a rider parked up somewhere, I always run up to them and have a quick chat before we head our ways.

Now my question is, am I doing the right thing? Am I too selfish? or should I just give up on my motorcycle dreams like what everyone else says?
 
Last edited:
Sounds like you've already made up your mind, even before you clicked post


Its fun to ride
 
Now my question is, am I doing the right thing? Am I too selfish? or should I just give up on my motorcycle dreams like what everyone else says?


There is no "right thing" in a situation like this.
Move out, cut the apron strings and be your own person if you think you can. 'Parents and family will have to deal with it...
To thy own self be true.
 
Have a back up plan. You are on top of the world now and may think you don't need anybody but if something happens you will need support from someone. That 'someone' is usually family.
 
You are an adult. From the sounds of it able to be self reliant and sustaining. Make your own decisions and do what makes you happy, it's your life. My kid is almost the same age. I'd help him get a bike.

And seriously, think you would get a no answer on a MC forum?
 
Last edited:
It sounds like you are on the right track. Don't throw this in their faces. You are going to live on your own, you may keep the bike at the condo and just don't bring it up. Everyones family dynamic is different, but family is the most important thing in your life, don't screw it up for a bike. Maybe you can do track days or offroad instead to get your seat time in while minimizing the risk. Just a thought.
 
Your call man. I too was into motorcycle as a teen. Parents were against it because of the danger I could get myself into. I am 29 now and made the decision to get my m1 last year. Bought a brand new ninja 300. Parents were mad sure, they didn't talk to me for a week but they eventually accepted it. Show them that you will be responsible and they too will accept it.
 
You should twitch the nerve a bit by wearing a "Support 81" sweat shirt around your parents. Get a "Life begins at 160" t-shirt too. For a couple of beers, you can get some of the sporting types here to pop wheelies in front of the house with their GP replicas "Oh, never mind them mom, it's just some of my new friends..." I mean, they're making fun of you so why not have a little fun? On a more serious note, it's high time to cut the cord. Some parents tend to forever look at their kids like they're 12 years old. They're usually the control freak types. Just go do what you want and ignore their protests. You're not proposing to do anything outrageous here. They'll get over it eventually.
 
Congrats on a lot of goals achieved.

For sure you need to get out from under parents not just for mcycle reasons BUT Toronto downtown is a marginal place to own a motorcycle,

I assume your business requires you to be in Toronto?
You rent a condo there?

Is there any option to get out of the city?
ie different Uni in a small town.

I hear you ...my son wanted to ride from the get go ...fortunately so did I. Having a bike at uni was perfect for me but that was a different time.
Daily riding is what you need to be a good rider over time and no better way than commuting to school.

But I thought there were time limits on M1 to M2? etc.
Where is condo and where is the uni?
That might help people advise
Are you pinned to the city all year???

I worry a bit about the financial hit for insurance for you but if your biz is paying well...follow your dream.
Put parents on ignore ...cut the strings but nicely ...no news is good news etc.
You don't need a Declaration of Independence...

Just fade away...

vsrtPtl.gif
good luck
 
Personally, I'd wait it out a couple of years, and save more money. TTC is fine while you're in school, especially in Toronto. Once you're out of school, and have a steady job, your priorities might change. If not, that's a better time to look at getting a bike rather than paying through the nose to insurance companies. Your family is trying to look out for you, but that won't be easy to understand until you have some years of perspective.
 
Wait until you get on the bike and ride it, you know you will have done the right thing.
It's fun, enjoy!
 
Personally, I'd wait it out a couple of years, and save more money. TTC is fine while you're in school, especially in Toronto. Once you're out of school, and have a steady job, your priorities might change. If not, that's a better time to look at getting a bike rather than paying through the nose to insurance companies. Your family is trying to look out for you, but that won't be easy to understand until you have some years of perspective.

I didn't realize that family members calling you stupid and a disgrace is them "looking out for you".
 
Your family is trying to look out for you,

throwing a tantrum is not "looking out for him"
my mother also acted like a child by throwing a temper by stomping her feets over and over on the floor, and screaming that she will do harmful things to herself if I ever came home with a Motorcycle. My father always takes my mother's side as well because of the ways she acts like a child and threatened to take her life basically if I ever came home with a bike.

....it's called being a controlling *******. Best away if you don't need them.
He's got income from what he says but reading a bit further getting a bike AND moving out will be a costly enterprise,
You need to share living expenses as kids in uni have done forever ( we had seven us in a big old house).

If the business is portable....get out of Dodge entirely - there other cities....Kingston is great, good uni, cheaper and 10 minutes to cottage country. Lovely riding area and a hopskip to the US.
 
Then let him be his own idiot ......lots of families suck and from the description his is one of them.
What sucky attitude ...family first...**** that. :rolleyes:
He's got a controlling mother and a wimp for a father who won't stand up for her.
If that's your idea of "supporting family" you are welcome to it.
 
Been there and done that with the family. Chose family over motorcycle. Right choice for me, I took up the riding after I moved out and had a full time job and school was finished. You realize how much a condo in Toronto will cost you plus furnishing it and the cost to feed yourself and do your own cleaning and laundry? May not have much time to ride except back and forth to school and city riding isn't all that much fun. Since you don't have that many friends do you really want to alienate your family? Maybe you don't need them now but you will one day. Will it hurt to put it off for a couple of years?
 

Back
Top Bottom