Quitting Your Job



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Thread: Quitting Your Job

  1. #1

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    Quitting Your Job

    Long story short, my current job is seriously starting to affect my mental health. Between the commute of 4hrs each day, and the mental abuse from my boss, it's become too much to handle. Currently have an offer on the table local to home, but at significantly reduced pay and a very different industry. Thankfully my wife has also just switched jobs and got an increase in her pay so while things would be really tight (bikes either sold or left in the garage), it would be doable.

    I'm tempted to stay and just bank as much as possible since we are thinking about leaving Ontario in the next couple years, but it's getting harder and harder for both of us to cope with the unhappiness and overall displeasure of life. Has anyone made a similar shift? I know nobody can tell me what to do but I'm just looking for any input and open to others' life experience.

  2. #2

    Re: Quitting Your Job

    yup....15 years ago, wife and I both working at full time jobs and doing well
    big house in the suburbs, RV, boat, good cars and vacations every year
    and 2 great kids that could walk to a fantastic school

    but she was a writer working in another field, resentful that she had never had the time to devote to it
    so we sold the big house, made really good money on it, downsized to a smaller house in the country
    and she quit her job to focus on writing, kids left all their friends and starting taking the bus to a hick school

    after 5 years we gave up and got divorced, country life was not for us, and she hit the bottle

    sometimes the grass is not greener, unfortunately there is no way to find out but make the change

  3. #3
    Ethereal's Avatar
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    Re: Quitting Your Job

    The greener grass looks better but it takes more **** to make it look that way. But having a job you hate is not something you want to feel chained to. everyone has options, but few take the risk of changing.
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  4. #4

    Re: Quitting Your Job

    Have somewhere to jump to before you make the move.

  5. #5
    crankcall's Avatar
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    Re: Quitting Your Job

    4 hrs a day commute? 20hrs a week your un paid and miserable? and then the time your at work and paid and still miserable, how is this a conversation, take the job closer to home

  6. #6
    Iceman's Avatar
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    Re: Quitting Your Job

    Used to commute daily, 4 hours total per day, 14 hour shifts. Took a job 5 minutes from home, $6 less per hour and couldn't be happier. Between fuel, saving 1200km per week wear and tear on the car, I didn't lose as much as I thought and life is much more relaxed and enjoyable.
    I wouldn't think twice.

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  7. #7

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    Re: Quitting Your Job

    Life is way too short!! Be happy!!
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  8. #8

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    Re: Quitting Your Job

    Quote Originally Posted by esphoto View Post
    Long story short, my current job is seriously starting to affect my mental health. Between the commute of 4hrs each day, and the mental abuse from my boss, it's become too much to handle. Currently have an offer on the table local to home, but at significantly reduced pay and a very different industry. Thankfully my wife has also just switched jobs and got an increase in her pay so while things would be really tight (bikes either sold or left in the garage), it would be doable.

    I'm tempted to stay and just bank as much as possible since we are thinking about leaving Ontario in the next couple years, but it's getting harder and harder for both of us to cope with the unhappiness and overall displeasure of life. Has anyone made a similar shift? I know nobody can tell me what to do but I'm just looking for any input and open to others' life experience.
    You can fight some workplace abuses through the Human Rights Tribunal but don't expect fast or large compensations even if you win.

    I had a good job with a great company and then management changed. I remember sitting on the edge of the bed one morning with a knot in my stomach, not wanting to get up.

    I quit, started my own one man company and have been happy. One man companies don't always make you rich but you can sort out problems with the boss while you shave his face every morning. It isn't for everyone and some fields are becoming so over-regulated that one person can't do the job while keeping up with the paperwork.

    You don't mention kids but how dedicated are you and your wife to each other? I have to be one of the luckiest guys around. Changes can be hard on the bonds.

    Living on less means cutting back on frills and that has serious social implications in today's consumerist world. Do you need Starbuck Lattes and designer labels?

    I suggest selling the bikes if you go the lean cash route. Standing idle, they depreciate and deteriorate while reminding you of the impractical "Good old days."

    Ideally working out problems with your boss would be the best solution but in many cases it doesn't work because they have hidden agendas, are psychopaths or just plain rectums. I assume you have made efforts or have envisioned the outcomes.

    I met a woman who hammered out "My job was hell but I stuck it out for forty years and I got my pension." She only lived another eight or ten years. Not a great return on investment IMO.

    Twelve hours a day dedicated to something that is causing mental stress doesn't make sense to me.

    PM me if you have any specific questions. These situations are very dependent on the individual's circumstances.

  9. #9
    Rick CH's Avatar
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    Re: Quitting Your Job

    If you put up with the unhappiness and overall displeasure to bank as much as you can, will your mental and physical health be in good enough shape to truly enjoy the next stage?

    My wife left a job where she was miserable and stressed, and is now doing something that makes far less money (overall, financially we're OK but belts have been tightened) and has "normal" levels of busy and stress, but is in a much better mental state. It's not worth the money for her to go back to the previous kind of work.

  10. #10

    Re: Quitting Your Job

    Had a job at the same place for 24.5 years before I couldn't take it anymore. Was great, until it changed ownership about 7 years ago. New bosses operated the business in a totally different fashion (putting as little money back in to the company as possible, while taking as much out as possible), reducing benefits, cut wages etc... Had to beg for any upgrades to computer hardware or time off - even when my sternum was in multiple pieces they were calling me on a daily basis demanding I come in to work. It got to the point I was dreading going to work every day. Just did not want to be there.

    Applied at a few places, had a new job lined up, and the description changed drastically mid-way through the multiple interview process. Had a massive blowout with the old bosses a week later, and walked out.

    Luckily, the place I was being interviewed at really liked my qualifications and skills, and created a new position for me. It paid about $7500 less a year, and the drive went from 7 minutes each way to 40, but I couldn't be happier. Great people, great flexibility etc. Picked up a side-gig as a motorcycle instructor in the summer (2 weekends one month, 1 weekend the next month) to help make ends meet easier. It's something I 'm really having fun with.

    So, OP, if you're really unhappy, switch jobs and pick up something on the side for fun. You're already doing 20 hours a week, 80 hours a month commuting. Even if your side job is 30 hours a month, you're way ahead.


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  11. #11

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    Re: Quitting Your Job

    Life is short... don't waste it on doing things that make you unhappy and miserable... 20 hours commuting?? Factor that 20 hours into your salary and then compare it against the close to home job.

  12. #12
    Joe Bass's Avatar
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    Re: Quitting Your Job

    @esphoto sometimes I wish I had balls big enough to just say eff it and make a change. But I may have it good, as my commute in a month is about what you do daily. I don't know how much you make, but I do know that money don't mean ish if you ain't happy. I used to joke that I'd be okay being rich and unhappy. As I get older, I just wanna be happy.
    If you have the willingness, the means, and the support, then I think you know what you have to do. I have too many "only if"'s in my life. Don't be like me.

    I think it is better to try, and then fail, than to wonder if it would have worked.

    Wishing you much success in whatever decision you make.


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  13. #13
    Baggsy's Avatar
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    Re: Quitting Your Job

    Been there, done that. Got a t-shirt.

    Have you had to get on happy pills, just to go in yet?
    Better to not get that far.
    Ignorance is curable, Apathy not so much, but I don't care, I'll try anyway.

  14. #14
    Ethereal's Avatar
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    Re: Quitting Your Job

    ^^^^^ THAT. Most work places say they are all for their employees. Had something big happen in my life and was on stress leave for a month as per DRs orders. My disability turned it down even after my Dr appealed and went to bat for me. Really sad. But I have days just like the OP and have come to terms with it and am now shopping around. Knowing I am looking has made it bearable, and I look forward to the day I cant call in sick of BS and will be off permanently due to better employment. Also I lost 1 months pay and had to deal with that and come back to work things out while still working...
    1979 Suzuki 250
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  15. #15
    Riceburner's Avatar
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    Re: Quitting Your Job

    Take the lower pay and better job. Belt tightening isn't a hard thing to do...maybe won't even need to, just adjust junk spending.

  16. #16

    Re: Quitting Your Job

    Quote Originally Posted by crankcall View Post
    4 hrs a day commute? 20hrs a week your un paid and miserable? and then the time your at work and paid and still miserable, how is this a conversation, take the job closer to home
    That's what I thought after thinking about it for 2 sec. ..... I mean, I don't understand how people value their time. I guess I value mine way too high, perhaps much higher than I should ... LOL ... 25 mins commute one way, once it's getting to 30mins, I am coming home in visibly different mood ... LOL.

  17. #17
    black_CG2's Avatar
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    Re: Quitting Your Job

    Quote Originally Posted by JavaFan View Post
    yup....15 years ago, wife and I both working at full time jobs and doing well
    big house in the suburbs, RV, boat, good cars and vacations every year
    and 2 great kids that could walk to a fantastic school

    but she was a writer working in another field, resentful that she had never had the time to devote to it
    so we sold the big house, made really good money on it, downsized to a smaller house in the country
    and she quit her job to focus on writing, kids left all their friends and starting taking the bus to a hick school

    after 5 years we gave up and got divorced, country life was not for us, and she hit the bottle

    sometimes the grass is not greener, unfortunately there is no way to find out but make the change
    This is very sad.

    Any advice for people who are thinking of tying the knot?
    2013 Ebony Ninja 300 w/ABS (SOLD)
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  18. #18

    Re: Quitting Your Job

    Definitely do not listen to us, Internet experts, that's for sure. Talking bikes etc. .... yes sure. Whether you should get married or not? Don't think so ... ... good luck with your decision.

  19. #19
    Joe Bass's Avatar
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    Re: Quitting Your Job

    Quote Originally Posted by black_CG2 View Post
    This is very sad.

    Any advice for people who are thinking of tying the knot?
    Some of us will say don't. Others will say do.
    Only you can decide.
    I will say that make sure you are happy together. I mean really happy together. It's no guarantee, but it's a good place to start.
    That being said, I've seen people get married argue and live a long life together 'comfortably'. I've seen 'perfect couples' get divorced in 6 months.
    Yeah
    I guess I wasn't really much help, sorry.

    sent from my Purple LGG4 on the GTAM app
    Originally Posted by inreb

    His wife would.love to tools user the tree. You know, user the tree. To tools.

  20. #20

    Re: Quitting Your Job

    Quote Originally Posted by black_CG2 View Post
    This is very sad.

    Any advice for people who are thinking of tying the knot?
    only experience I'm qualified to discuss, is my own
    and based on that, I'd advise against it

    but it is possible I suppose to find the right person,
    who over time as we change still somehow remains the right person

    and you can have a wonderful, loving life with.....but I doubt it

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