rough draft proposal. Masters of english language needed | GTAMotorcycle.com

rough draft proposal. Masters of english language needed

J

James25

Banned
is this good enough? I have a nice little package I am printing out in a nice folder to personally give to owners of various establishments. criticism welcome. suggestions welcome.


Velvet Nightclub
Date: 20[SUP]th[/SUP] June 2016
Subject: DJ Proposal

Dear xxxx,

My name is James xxxxx. I am a twenty-seven year old student who has been living in Montreal for one year and is currently studying at Lasalle College for Mobile App Development. Today I am writing you in regards to playing music within your establishment.

I, and many others hear a lot of over played generic music all over Montreal. My style of music is slightly different than the track selection many DJ’s play. I started a channel on Soundcloud called No Basic Sound, which is a platform that features fresh/current talent and classic hits to improve nightlife across the city. No Basic Sound also has unique ways to market. Example; “No Basic Sound @ __________ (club/lounge)”. The outcome of this would be to increase the bottom line of the establishment by posting music on www.mtlblog.com to increase patron traffic.

What separates me from the other DJ’s is the background I was introduced to at a young age. I feel confident my music library would enhance your atmosphere with good and positive vibes. People I’ve chatted with in Montreal claim the city isn’t what it used to be for music since late 2008. Many people have provided positive feedback on my music library, which makes me confident to type my track selection will make your patrons drink more, socialize more and most importantly, come back for more! If there is an opportunity to play music within your venue, I know that my library will continue to make your venue a go-to spot within Montreal!

I have typed a plan that will bring more money and visibility to your brand. I await your thoughts and considerations to this proposal.

Please let me know what you think,

Sincerely,

James xxxxxx
 
My humble .02, you're among friends here you should run this by a dispassionate crowd. To reiterate, .02.
 
Dear xxxx,

Hoes call me Jizzy xxxxx. I be a twenty-seven year oldschool hustla whoz *** has been livin up in Montreal fo' one year n' is currently studyin at Lasalle College fo' Mobile App Development. Todizzle I be writin you up in regardz ta playin noize within yo' establishment.

I, n' nuff others hear a ******** of over played generic noize all over Montreal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. My ****in steez of noize is slightly different than tha track selection nuff DJ’s play. I started a cold-*** lil channel on Soundcloud called No Basic Sound, which be a platform dat features fresh/current talent n' funky-*** hits ta improve nightlife across tha hood. No Basic Sound also has unique ways ta market. Example; "No Basic Sound @ __________ (club/lounge)". Da outcome of dis would be ta increase tha bottom line of tha establishment by postin noize on www.mtlblog.com ta increase patron traffic.

What separates me from tha other DJ’s is tha background I was introduced ta at a lil' age. I feel Kool & Tha Gang mah noize library would enhizzle yo' atmosphere wit phat n' positizzle vibes. Mutha****as I’ve chatted wit up in Montreal claim tha hood isn’t what tha **** it used ta be fo' noize since late 2008. Many playas have provided positizzle feedback on mah noize library, which make me Kool & Tha Gang ta type mah track selection will make yo' patrons drank more, straight kick it mo' n' most blinginly, come back fo' mo' biaaatch! If there be a opportunitizzle ta play noize within yo' venue, I know dat mah library will continue ta make yo' venue a go-to spot within Montreal!

I have typed a plan dat will brang mo' scrilla n' visibilitizzle ta yo' brand. Y'all KNOW dat ****, mutha****a! I await yo' thoughts n' considerations ta dis proposal.

It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Please let me know what tha **** you think,

Sincerely,

Jizzy xxxxx
 
James25 said:
is this good enough? I have a nice little package I am printing out in a nice folder to personally give to owners of various establishments. criticism welcome. suggestions welcome.


Velvet Nightclub
Date: 20[SUP]th[/SUP] June 2016
Subject: DJ Proposal

Dear xxxx,

My name is James xxxxx. I am a twenty-seven year old student who has been living in Montreal for one year and I AM currently studying at Lasalle College for Mobile App Development. Today I am writing you in regards to playing music within your establishment.

I, and many others hear a lot of over played generic music all over Montreal. My style of music is slightly different than the track selection many DJ’s play. I started a channel on Soundcloud called No Basic Sound, which is a platform that features fresh/current talent and classic hits to improve nightlife across the city. No Basic Sound also has unique ways to market, for example: “No Basic Sound @ __________ (club/lounge)”. The outcome of this would be to increase the bottom line of the establishment by posting music on www.mtlblog.com to increase patron traffic.

What separates me from other DJ’s is the background I was introduced to at a young age. I AM confident my music library would enhance your atmosphere with positive vibes, AND ULTIMATELY AN INCREASE TO YOUR BOTTOM LINE. People I’ve chatted with in Montreal claim the city isn’t what it used to be for music since late 2008. Many people have provided positive feedback on my music library, which makes me confident THAT my track selection will make your patrons drink more, socialize more and most importantly, come back for more! If there is an opportunity to play music within your venue, I know that my library will continue to make your venue a go-to spot within Montreal!

I have typed a plan that will bring more money and visibility to your brand. I await your thoughts and considerations to this proposal.

LOOKING FORWARD TO SPEAKING WITH YOU SOON,

Sincerely,

James xxxxxx
Click to expand...



I don't know how to bold on my phone so I used caps. I'm no editor, but those are the changes that I would do.
Good luck.
I made changes to 2nd paragraph too. Forgot to cap.

Sent from my custom purple Joe Bass mobile device using Tapatalk
 
Re the generic over played music. You do realize you are insulting a potential employer with this statement correct? If that is the intent then you nailed it.

Then the unsubstantiated claim that your music background history is better than current DJS, another disrespect.

Music does not make you drink more, but dancing might. Clean this up.

"People" is also a generic claim. I could claim people think that I'm the most awesomest rider ever, it's hard to prove otherwise but also hard to prove true.

I would reword a lot of that. Think of yourself as the nightclub owner, with a beloved son DJ'ing. Is your intro letter dismissive/patronizing or do you wanna meet this new DJ.

Catch more flies with sugar than vinegar
 
Yeah thats what I was thinking too. perfection is imperfection

I got into dj'ing cause im fed up with listening to other ****** djs

Most venues dont care about the music. they just care about the $$$. the people don't know good music. id say 80% of local dj's in montreal don't know jack. i spoke with one guy in moog who dj's a lot of venues in the area about buying portable speaker. I said connect the speaker with your phone and play some good house music on blast. the guy played the shittiest tech house song. i wanted to question his music selection but i didn't care enough.

i understand now what deadmouse meant in an interview back in 2007? when he said he hates other djs who don't produce
 
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I'm certainly not a master of English but how about the following:

Velvet Nightclub
Date: 20[SUP]th[/SUP] June 2016
Subject: DJ Proposal

Dear xxxx,

My name is James xxxxx. I am a twenty-seven year old student and have been living in Montreal for one year while studying at Lasalle College for Mobile App Development. I write to you today with regard to playing music within your establishment.

Many club patrons, myself included, hear a lot of over-played, generic music all over Montreal. My style of music is slightly different than the track selection many DJs play. I started a channel on Soundcloud called No Basic Sound, which is a platform that features fresh and current talent as well as classic hits, to improve nightlife across the city. No Basic Sound also has unique ways to market. For example: “No Basic Sound @ __________ (club/lounge)”. The outcome of this would be to increase patron traffic and the bottom line of the establishment through posting music on www.mtlblog.com.

What separates myself from the other DJs is the background to which I was introduced at a young age. I feel confident my music library would enhance your atmosphere with good and positive vibes. People I’ve chatted with in Montreal claim that, starting in late 2008, the music in the the city isn’t what it used to be and I agree. Many people have provided positive feedback on my music library, which makes me confident that my track selection will make your patrons' experience more enjoyable and memorable; they'll drink more, socialize more and, most importantly, come back for more! If there is an opportunity to play music within your establishment, I know that my library will help make your venue the go-to spot within Montreal!

I have created a plan that will bring more profit and visibility to your brand. I await your thoughts and considerations to this proposal.

Sincerely,

James xxxxxx
Click to expand...

Good luck!
 
if you could quantify how many people you can bring in the door, that will help you.

I.e. you have 2000 followers on soundcloude, 1200 in the Montreal area alone. If 20% show up to a venue, that'll get the conversation going.
 
nfq said:
if you could quantify how many people you can bring in the door, that will help you.

I.e. you have 2000 followers on soundcloude, 1200 in the Montreal area alone. If 20% show up to a venue, that'll get the conversation going.
Click to expand...

not even close to those stats but staying optimistic
 
As a former DJ/electronic musician/performance lesbian artist, I recommend this: you should target a particular nightclub, know them inside and out. Go drink there, get to know the people. I wouldn't send out generic letters, unless you already are known in the industry. You can try, but your letter, no matter how well written, will likely be tossed out. There's no harm trying, of course.

If you're not already in the scene, then you should get your brand out there first. If you haven't done this already, I'd recommend trying to get a radio show on the local campus community radio station (in montreal there's CKUT). That will give you some credibility, recognition, and networking opportunities with other DJs and promoters. That's how I started. Getting a radio show is relatively easy, if you're willing to put in the time.

Good luck!
 
Pistachio Nuts said:
As a former DJ/electronic musician/performance lesbian artist, I recommend this: you should target a particular nightclub, know them inside and out. Go drink there, get to know the people. I wouldn't send out generic letters, unless you already are known in the industry. You can try, but your letter, no matter how well written, will likely be tossed out. There's no harm trying, of course.

Good luck!
Click to expand...

i wouldnt say im sending out generic letters. if the owner isnt in, I don't want to leave my folder to be placed in the trash by some low level manager. The people I've met in the 'industry' here suck. Toronto's scene and the people in it make montreals scene look like high school. I think it all comes down to how the interaction goes. Feeling the hipwest vibess

[video=youtube;IeKbM7VDrTI]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeKbM7VDrTI[/video]
 
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Needs more I-use-to-hang-with-gangsters.
 
daught said:
Dear xxxx,

Hoes call me Jizzy xxxxx. I be a twenty-seven year oldschool hustla whoz *** has been livin up in Montreal fo' one year n' is currently studyin at Lasalle College fo' Mobile App Development. Todizzle I be writin you up in regardz ta playin noize within yo' establishment.

I, n' nuff others hear a ******** of over played generic noize all over Montreal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. My ****in steez of noize is slightly different than tha track selection nuff DJ’s play. I started a cold-*** lil channel on Soundcloud called No Basic Sound, which be a platform dat features fresh/current talent n' funky-*** hits ta improve nightlife across tha hood. No Basic Sound also has unique ways ta market. Example; "No Basic Sound @ __________ (club/lounge)". Da outcome of dis would be ta increase tha bottom line of tha establishment by postin noize on www.mtlblog.com ta increase patron traffic.

What separates me from tha other DJ’s is tha background I was introduced ta at a lil' age. I feel Kool & Tha Gang mah noize library would enhizzle yo' atmosphere wit phat n' positizzle vibes. Mutha****as I’ve chatted wit up in Montreal claim tha hood isn’t what tha **** it used ta be fo' noize since late 2008. Many playas have provided positizzle feedback on mah noize library, which make me Kool & Tha Gang ta type mah track selection will make yo' patrons drank more, straight kick it mo' n' most blinginly, come back fo' mo' biaaatch! If there be a opportunitizzle ta play noize within yo' venue, I know dat mah library will continue ta make yo' venue a go-to spot within Montreal!

I have typed a plan dat will brang mo' scrilla n' visibilitizzle ta yo' brand. Y'all KNOW dat ****, mutha****a! I await yo' thoughts n' considerations ta dis proposal.

It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Please let me know what tha **** you think,

Sincerely,

Jizzy xxxxx
Click to expand...
You part Jamaican?
 
If you feel confident, then take out the I feel confident. Just go with My music . . .
 
James25 said:
not even close to those stats but staying optimistic
Click to expand...

Save the pistol squats for showing off to your Tinder girls and use YouTube and Insta to promote your soundcloud... NFQ is right, you have to show people will come to hear what your spinnin. I've been in a few bands over the years and I can say you don't just send a letter to Massy Hall professing your greatness, you start by playing dives and work your way up; I'm sure it's the same with DJ's. Anyway, I wish you luck. Can't say anything negative about someone pursuing thier dreams
 
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