Need Legal HELP!!!! | GTAMotorcycle.com

Need Legal HELP!!!!

C

CB Rider

Well-known member
No idea where i should post this, so admin help me out??

Long story shorter, 2 years ago told wife that trial separation wasn't a trial any more, her being out of my home had lost me 30lbs and counting, no feeling of need to drink to tolerate her, BP down to near normal and Blood Sugars levelling off at normal. she makes up stories to cops and disappears with my kid. Cops no help finding her, CAS no help finding her. No requests for child support no contact with her family. we are all alienated from him(thats illegal btw). Tried filing paperwork on my own but with no knowledge of the legal system, money for a lawyer or knowledge of her whereabouts, I've been beating my head against the proverbial brick wall, getting no closer to access to my son.
Skip ahead to tonite, "Date Night" with my girlfriend and in walks the ex with my son and other kids into. I call his name as he walks back past my table from the bathroom, he recognizes me but keeps walking. Minutes later he's back to the bathroom again so I follow him down the hall to say Hi. As I'm telling him how much he's loved and missed, she comes storming down the hall ranting about 911, telling everyone I'm alcoholic and dangerous. Later in parking lot I get another chance to speak with him, it goes well until she starts again, being loud with her lies about me.
Later tonite, have done some digging and found where she might be once a month for some radio show.
I need help, lawyer kind of help, but money for that is not easy to find.
Any help, advice, anything HELP. Please
 
This law system is just to **** up every man when it comes to divorce. I know i cant offer help but i can feel your pain. Many buddies of mine got fcked the same way. This is why everytime i hear a campaign for sex equality i puke. It seems the hypocrites do not want to go both ways.

One buddies of mine lost contact with his kids for years. Turned out, his ex was taking the kids out of the country without telling him. Every women I've known turn into enemies just because the relationships do not work out and destroy their children's childhood with it.
 
Your hole is about to get bigger. Right now, find out how much child support is and put that money away in a trust for your kid. Just because you are separated and want a divorce, don't have contact, doesn't mean you get to avoid paying. It's easy to calculate, lots of web sites. Do it. Start now and try and put in for the time passed.

Trust me. The judge and courts don't mess around and it will come back to bite you.

Unless your previous years income tax demonstrate poverty income.

With that out of the way, contact a lawyer.

Show them the separation papers you have and tried to file.

You might have to start over and you will likely have to place an ad in the paper.

The lawyer will be able to tell you what reasonable steps the courts find acceptable for you to have made attempts to legally serve your ex with separation/divorce papers.

Ignorance and not having money gets no sympathy from the courts.

You got GF now so, if you want to move on, it's going to be costly and fairly long process.

But it's possible and it can happen.

Just don't half ass it.

Don't blame the courts or anyone.

Suck it up and do it right.

You owe it to your kid.

And I'm not coming down on you. I've been there.

Pleading your case to public opinion is one thing.

Plead it to a lawyer and to the courts. That's the only place that matters.

Lawyers aren't free. Some are better than others.

Can't help you with that.

But you got to start somewhere and start now.

Everything you've done prior to this is a waste of time and only building a financial mountain that bankruptcy won't even protect you from.




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I have to agree with nakkers in that a big thump is coming your way.

How old is your son?

When there are kids involved the courts favour the mother. The kids actually have more rights than the kids in an intact marriage. While you can dump the kids at 16 or 18 in a normal marriage the kids in a separated family can demand university educations etc.

The courts don't care why the marriage broke up if kids are involved.

All you can do is dig up any paperwork that you have regarding your search and hope the court sees your efforts and gives you some slack. That won't affect child support but maybe alimony, assuming her visit was to check out your financial status.

Face the facts. It sounds like ex has brain washed your son for two years. If she maintains custody the brain washing will likely continue so the hopes of a normal relationship are slim.

I know a cop that has been going through the same thing for over 15 years. Even with his connections he is stuck. He has a garage full of birthday and Christmas presents that have been rejected.

Another friend who makes over $100K a year may have to move in with relatives because of alimony, child support and legal costs defending himself from frivolous demands. He doesn't drink, smoke or have expensive toys. He lives for his kids. There is no money in his family but his ex stands to inherit a couple of million in the next few years. That doesn't affect his costs.

If he finds a new lady friend and moves in with her his financial status is seen as upgraded and he pays more.

His ex can have as many boyfriends as she wants.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

There are some single dad forums that may give direction.
 
Child support is pretty cut and dry. It's based on your income. So for the years you were separated, you can calculate how much is was suppose to be.

Unless you can demonstrate you had custody of the child/ren, it's really an obligation you can't avoid or ignore.

Your ex can twist things. You say, I tried to track her down to see my kid or serve her papers. She vanished without warning or notice.

Her response, you have a drinking problem, called the cops. Feared for her life and the child's life. Battered women syndrome etc.

Classic he said, she said.

What the courts won't ignore is your inability to get a lawyer to pursue things legally.

The process is the process. It's not easy and it's not meant to be.

As it was mentioned, check on line for support groups for single dads. You can find info on law firms to avoid and good places to go.

My lawyer told me I was a fool. Gave up the equity in the house. Took on the majority of the debt. When you just want out, rational thinking is the last thing you have.

But, I kept my pension and avoided alimony. So my lawyer gave me a gold star for that one.

Custody and visitation is tricky. And the longer you have been out of the picture, the harder it is for you. The reasons don't really matter from a legal aspect.

You might have to fight for supervised visitation and an evaluation to prove you are fit as a father. It sucks. No doubt. But, if you want to be a part of your kid's life, it's a long road and it's tough.

There will be expenses for this. The courts can order an evaluation of he parents and child.

But the court appointed counsellor doesn't pick winners. And they rarely force a child that isn't comfortable seeing their father or mother over a period of time. Even when that parent has tried so hard to do so.

You have to be prepared that it might be better not to fight for it. You have to aka yourself, is this what you want? Is this to put the screws to your ex? Will you ever have a close relationship with your kid?

You can blame her and it's noble to want to spend time with your kid but, if your kid doesn't want to. It's hard. And you can claim the kid is brainwashed etc.

Unless you can win custody, you are fighting an up hill battle.

I've seen in from a woman's perspective with my sister. And I've done it myself.

It's never fair. There are no winners.

Give up your Timmies and save up for legal representation. Don't half ass it. It only drags things out longer and consumes your life.








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Jesus Christ for anybody not in this situation yet hit MGTOW on youtube and hit it hard. Don't waste any time, start with the Sandman.
 
Alright, well, I sympathize so here is some help.

To figure out roughly what you might owe, go to this site http://www.mysupportcalculator.ca/.html and plug in the data it asks for. It will calculate the child support you would owe monthly. Multiply that by the number of months you should have paid and that's the hole you find yourself in financially.

Next, go see a lawyer. A 1 hour meeting will cost you $250. I can't stress enough how important this is to do ASAP. Ideally, it should have been done a couple years ago when this happened as a lawyer could have given you all the help you need to help you out. Now, it's all about crisis management. Write down the history of your relationship and how it fell apart, then write a list with all the questions you need to ask. That one hour with a lawyer is really important so mine it for everything.

Best of luck and let us know how it goes.
 
Sorry to hear. Even if you had done the right things, YOU ARE STILL SCREWED. Now you are behind the system 8-ball. Even with shared custody from the get go, it's a biased system.

There are some lawyers that will give a free first consultation(they probably roll it into their time if they get hired), but at least you get an idea what's in front of you. What area are you in, maybe you can get a recommendation. Unfortunately it a system that benefits the lawyers and the woman.
 
You're not always screwed. My buddy got custody of his kids (including the child bonus cheques and tax credits), the car, half the house, and he out earned her by 50%. Even after an altercation when she came to pick the kids up for visitation (they were refusing to go, she started hitting them, he restrained her, and was charged), he still retained custody. It does happen, just not that often.
 
How the hell did he get off so damn fair???? That's almost unheard of unless she was a certified psycho. And I mean literally certified by a Dr. or something.
 
FullMotoJacket said:
You're not always screwed. My buddy got custody of his kids (including the child bonus cheques and tax credits), the car, half the house, and he out earned her by 50%. Even after an altercation when she came to pick the kids up for visitation (they were refusing to go, she started hitting them, he restrained her, and was charged), he still retained custody. It does happen, just not that often.
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To OP hire his lawyer
 
Surprised nobody mentioned the mediation process...

Like Nakkers, I opted out of the assets, took all the debts, and after a single meeting with her lawyer, started the child support stuff immediately. The numbers are very easy to calculate. Alimony is a different animal, as are "special" costs relating to children, and her ability to earn.

In a nutshell though, and my case was very unique but I will say this: No matter how hard, always do your best to negotiate, and maintain civility for the children. The money doesn't mean **** when it comes down to it. Obviously it sounds like legal advice is your number one priority right now, and as others have said, be prepared to cough up support payments over the previous time. Another big thing to remember is that the court will advocate for children on every level, including their right to see the parents. Don't give them a reason not to.

Incidentally, I'm a single Dad to a pretty damn awesome autistic lad, 5 years into my separation. My final divorce papers are now complete, with no custody order and no contest for anything else. And I never once darkened the door of a court or a lawyers office. Never missed a payment, and even now with the court reviewing the final portion of this, I was overpaying a bit. Opting not to "fight" likely saved me 50 grand in legal battles, not to mention the soul-crushing reality of living through huge stress. We get along better now than when married, lol
 
Dumb question guys: she took off with op's kids for a couple years ,with no communication, now she's back and he's gonna have to give her money? Wtf?

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Joe Bass said:
Dumb question guys: she took off with op's kids for a couple years ,with no communication, now she's back and he's gonna have to give her money? Wtf?

Sent from my custom purple Joe Bass mobile device using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

Law, lawyers, courts, gynocentrism and womens right to vote=Feminism=equality=not bigotry
 
inreb said:
Jesus Christ for anybody not in this situation yet hit MGTOW on youtube and hit it hard. Don't waste any time, start with the Sandman.
Click to expand...
Lol, you're so deep in mgtow, you're not getting out soon
 
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