I can totally relate to this for sure. My bike got delivered from a dealer, and then i noticed an issue that would affect my safety so i sent it back (they picked it up) and they did a full diagnostics on the bike and repair. When i wanted to pick it up again, they were telling me it would take up to 2 weeks because of the bike show. So the guy told me just come and ride it back home.
I didnt want to tell him i had a fear of doing this plus i had my bike, so i had someone drop me off and told them to leave. I didnt want them to be a crutch and the only way i had of getting home was to ride my bike.
So i did. First i rode around the dealership area and a few other back roads leading on my way home , even around a building like 10 times, practicing stopping and starting as there were quite a few lights on my way home. And then i took off heading home...it was a great experience and i'm glad i did it.
Its natural to feel how you are feeling. Just as everyone says though dont overthink too much.