Wrote M1, booked Safety Course...now wife freaking out?

[Lyndsay]

ABCarr, my story is similar, except I didn't get a bike earlier not only because of parental influence, but also because I was a restless idiot and I realized I probably would have killed myself on two wheels. The things I did (do) driving four wheels scare most of my passengers, but I haven't had an at-fault accident in 35+ years. They don't seem to realize how much attention I'm paying to the road and traffic and they get surprised, when I am expecting the idiot moves (it helps that I learned to drive in Boston I guess). Anyway, at 54 I decided I was mature enough to not kill myself and I found a bike I had always wanted; a 1975 Honda CB200t that a coworker was selling and haven't looked back. Similar to the OP, I thought my wife was on target with this and would probably get her M1 etc. as well, but not yet. Maybe this year after we sell the house she'll realize she has the time. It also helps that I don't live in the GTA as that place is crazy to travel in; no offence to those that do, but I hate it.

[rafiki911]

Sorry but I find it kind of weird that all of a sudden after doubling your life insurance it's now ok for those of you that have had to do that to make it easy for your other half.

Sorry I have no real responces to how to deal with the issue. I'm single and never had the issue, my hurdle was my parents and with everything else they fight me with I just went ahead and did it and they have to deal with it.

[Corsara]

Sorry but I find it kind of weird that all of a sudden after doubling your life insurance it's now ok for those of you that have had to do that to make it easy for your other half.

Sorry I have no real responces to how to deal with the issue. I'm single and never had the issue, my hurdle was my parents and with everything else they fight me with I just went ahead and did it and they have to deal with it.

There are only two options: to ride or not ride. Nobody plans to die riding, but **** happens. Same as if you're walking on the street, a brick can fall from the sky and burst your head open. Much lower probability than getting in a bike accident though. No doubt you've got a better chance of staying alive if you never get on a bike, right?

So, in my family nobody tells nobody what to do. However, that doesn't mean that the call for a little bit responsibility is not there. When it comes to riding a bike, one has to think about the "what if" situation. Who are you gonna leave behind? If you're single, that's easy. If you have two young kids and a wife, then there is a whole different angle to the story. If you're alive, then you'll be there to provide, mortgage, food, put kids through school and college. If you're not there, then the life insurance should take care of that.

In my opinion, there are two very important reasons for my role in the family: 1) earn money for the above mentioned reasons; 2) be there, so my kids grow up having a father. You're right---life insurance won't give you everything. It will provide 1), but not 2). Still that's 1 out of 2 vs nothing at all. Gives at least a bit of peace of mind.

lol...i did get lost in my thoughts, didn't i sorry

[Lyndsay]

Yes, you did Corsara, but you also explained it better than I was going to be able to.

[meme]

What if it isn't "ok?" - what next?

Not trying to be rude - but it's their problem and your desire.

[Lyndsay]

That's not being rude; that's a good question. It's hard to say and depends on the dynamics of your marriage/relationship. Like many things, there is often a compromise. Maybe they like doing something that you consider a waste of time or money; you make a deal. The problem is that in most compromises neither party is truly happy. Maybe part of the compromise is that you can only get a xxx cc bike, no larger, or no 4-lane roads, except to pass your test. You may be a bit ****** at that, but at least you're on a bike.

[rafiki911]

Ok it makes a bit more sence and you are talking to a girl that got hit by a car while standing on a side walk so I absolutely understand **** happens.

There are only two options: to ride or not ride. Nobody plans to die riding, but **** happens. Same as if you're walking on the street, a brick can fall from the sky and burst your head open. Much lower probability than getting in a bike accident though. No doubt you've got a better chance of staying alive if you never get on a bike, right?

So, in my family nobody tells nobody what to do. However, that doesn't mean that the call for a little bit responsibility is not there. When it comes to riding a bike, one has to think about the "what if" situation. Who are you gonna leave behind? If you're single, that's easy. If you have two young kids and a wife, then there is a whole different angle to the story. If you're alive, then you'll be there to provide, mortgage, food, put kids through school and college. If you're not there, then the life insurance should take care of that.

In my opinion, there are two very important reasons for my role in the family: 1) earn money for the above mentioned reasons; 2) be there, so my kids grow up having a father. You're right---life insurance won't give you everything. It will provide 1), but not 2). Still that's 1 out of 2 vs nothing at all. Gives at least a bit of peace of mind.

lol...i did get lost in my thoughts, didn't i sorry

[OpenGambit]

Sorry but I find it kind of weird that all of a sudden after doubling your life insurance it's now ok for those of you that have had to do that to make it easy for your other half.

Sorry I have no real responces to how to deal with the issue. I'm single and never had the issue, my hurdle was my parents and with everything else they fight me with I just went ahead and did it and they have to deal with it.

My family hates it, my gf tolerates it. But Its one of the few things that I can do that relieve stress, something I have a lot of.

But you gotta understand that this is really about a genuine interest in your health.
Guys who look at this like other people are stepping on your hopes and dreams is going about it the wrong way.

They way I see it, if you are married and you do have kids, your life is not just your own, So you can't just run around and do whatever you want.
The life insurance thing is just responsibility... Everyone should have those affairs in order.

[Roasted]

A lot easier when you start dating a chick when you`re already riding. Can always use the "you knew what you were signing up for when you met me" card.

[adri]

Nobody plans to die riding, but **** happens.

Really? I could think of a LOT of worse ways to go.

[adri]

That's not being rude; that's a good question. It's hard to say and depends on the dynamics of your marriage/relationship. Like many things, there is often a compromise. Maybe they like doing something that you consider a waste of time or money; you make a deal. The problem is that in most compromises neither party is truly happy. Maybe part of the compromise is that you can only get a xxx cc bike, no larger, or no 4-lane roads, except to pass your test. You may be a bit ****** at that, but at least you're on a bike.

I have to keep my dick in my pants. Thats my relationship compromise and damn if it isn't compromise enough. It goes against every instinct for **** sake. If she asks me for anything else, I'm leaving. If she asks me to stop riding, I'm laughing at her, and leaving.

I wouldn't make her compromise on who to vote for, whether or not she should drink, if she should run for office. She's a woman. She's entitled to her rights and freedoms. I'm a man. I'm entitled to my rights an freedoms. Let her do whatever she wants and shell let you do the same. What the **** is there compromise?

[Lyndsay]

Adri, it also depends on the family sistuation. Four kids can change a lot of things and forces "compromises" on you that you don't even think about.

[jay-d]

That really sucks.. I've been a rebel since I was a kid so anything I do, my parents smile and say as long as you're enjoying life.

Told my old man that this Spring, I'm getting my skydiving certificate and he smiled and said good for you!

Gosh, I love my logical and understanding family!

[Nixel]

That really sucks.. I've been a rebel since I was a kid so anything I do, my parents smile and say as long as you're enjoying life.

Told my old man that this Spring, I'm getting my skydiving certificate and he smiled and said good for you!

Gosh, I love my logical and understanding family!

If they always smile and say "Good for you!" .. Then what are you rebelling against?

To the OP: Address her fear(s). The problem most people have when confronted with a situation like this is that they take it at face value and boil it down to "She doesn't want me to ride a motorcycle." But, you have to find out why. What is it that makes her so fearful of you getting on a bike? If you know the specifics you can address them instead of trying to combat the all encompassing issue of "No motorcycle".

My girlfriend was very hesitant when a talk between me and a friend of things we'd like to do some day became plans and eventually a M1. She was concerned with me getting hurt and not necessarily the speed because my driving is really tame. We talked about it and I let her set the minimum amount of equipment I had to wear, so short of textile pants, I wear everything. I would have worn this much equipment in the first place, but it gives her peace of mind, which is really what you're trying to establish to overcome the issue.

[GixxerN8]

To the OP, get ALL the proper gear and show her and explain to her your riding experiences...smart, safe riding. Elaborate on what the course taught you. Safety and responsibility seem to go a long ways in gaining a persons understanding of riding. It's not just ripping through traffic on the back tire and/or sitting at intersections waiting to be hit, like they see on SPEED and Youtube.

All the best mate. Hope the two of you sort it all out.

Like some of the others, my fiance rides with me often which I love and now she's getting her M1 and doing the course.....I'm scared $h1Tless, cuz if something EVER happens, I would never forgive myself AND her mother is comin after me!

[crankcall]

OP , I've been down this road several times. I rode before i met my wife, she wasn't crazy about my driving record and social habits. I was a typical 20something. She was convinced I'd die.
You have to pick your fights and they are only scared for you because they love and want you around.

I'm guessing she can be reasoned with or you wouldn't be with her. Calmly sit her down and explain why this is very important to you. You want to learn things right, be safe and come home after a ride,every ride, still on the bike. Tell her why this means so much to you, she'll get it. Its not begging, your just telling her openly why you need to do this.

Best of luck, we'll go for a ride in the spring.

[bikermahn]

Thanks for he replies. So far things have calmed down ALOT, she has come to terms with it for now, happy or not she is respecting my decision. I've bought a bike and its in the garage, waiting for spring. She only gripes a little at how much its costing now...gear isn't cheap. Its been hard for a new guy like me to find gear that will be good, I don't really know what to expect out there in the heat, etc... for now i've been picking up 2011 stuff, things that are on clearout, that fits well and feels good. Trying not to overspend on things I don't need for now bare essentials to get me going safely.

Can't wait until april 14-15 at Mosport... oh wait my bad its called Canadian Tire Motorsports Park now, and if not now soon enough


Here is the bike after I brought it home, i've since cleaned the sale off it...an old 250, but still a good bike.

[tricky]

Here is the bike after I brought it home, i've since cleaned the sale off it...an old 250, but still a good bike.

Sweet! You'll have a lot of fun

As for the gear, I went for a leather jacket with zippered vents, perforated leather gloves.. blah blah. You'll be sweating no matter what. You don't really feel it too much once you're out of stop-and-go traffic though, the wind keeps you cool enough. You can get some base layers (like Underarmour compression heat gear) that will help with the heat/sweat