Having kids, father gets no say ?

[AdRath]

+1 and if he never wanted children he should have gotten snipped...

And if the women decides to abort the child even though they discussed keeping it? Should a women have her tubes tied also if she doesn't want kids?

[oilycreek]

And if the women decides to abort the child even though they discussed keeping it? Should a women have her tubes tied also if she doesn't want kids?

not if she doesn't want kids, but if she has an abortion yes. The possibility is there if she gets pregnant to choose to keep it.

[oilycreek]

LOLwhut?

I thought it was self explanatory

[Bigevildoer]

I feel for your friend, Dr. M, I really do.

Everyone has opinions on what to do in this case - largely based on religious leanings. If you're religious, chances are you're against abortion. If you're not, then chances are they're open to the idea and will use it if necessary.

Has your friend thought about the other option? try to convince his girlfriend to give it up for adoption (after the paternity test - other people here are right - she pulled a fast one and didn't use protection and the condom broke, or it's someone else's - either way, it's something to consider).
She gets the experience of the whole birthing process, the baby isn't denied life, and both Dr. M's friend and his girlfriend don't have their prospective futures ruined by being shackled with a kid.

Me, I don't want kids, never have, never will. Unfortunately the docs in their wisdom won't snip me 'cause I'm too young (40) and may change my mind. A kid would devastate my life and goals, even at this age. I can't imagine barely starting university and having to go through it all.

In short, get a paternity test. If it's not his, he's off the hook completely. If it's his, try the adoption angle - if that doesn't work, he's basically done for and will have extreme hardship doing University, unless his parents can really help financially.

Wish him the best...

[oilycreek]

I feel for your friend, Dr. M, I really do.

Everyone has opinions on what to do in this case - largely based on religious leanings. If you're religious, chances are you're against abortion. If you're not, then chances are they're open to the idea and will use it if necessary.

Has your friend thought about the other option? try to convince his girlfriend to give it up for adoption (after the paternity test - other people here are right - she pulled a fast one and didn't use protection and the condom broke, or it's someone else's - either way, it's something to consider).
She gets the experience of the whole birthing process, the baby isn't denied life, and both Dr. M's friend and his girlfriend don't have their prospective futures ruined by being shackled with a kid.

Me, I don't want kids, never have, never will. Unfortunately the docs in their wisdom won't snip me 'cause I'm too young (40) and may change my mind. A kid would devastate my life and goals, even at this age. I can't imagine barely starting university and having to go through it all.

In short, get a paternity test. If it's not his, he's off the hook completely. If it's his, try the adoption angle - if that doesn't work, he's basically done for and will have extreme hardship doing University, unless his parents can really help financially.

Wish him the best...

I don't believe there's a god, and I don't believe in abortions. There goes that theory.

[ducati rider]

I don't believe there's a god, and I don't believe in abortions. There goes that theory.

just wondering, where do people get the idea that abortions are bad?

[Bigevildoer]

I don't believe there's a god, and I don't believe in abortions. There goes that theory.

And if you would read my post again, you will note is said "If you're religious, chances are you're against abortion. If you're not, then chances are they're open to the idea and will use it if necessary."

Didn't say EVERYONE... just chances are...

[tiborgh]

just wondering, where do people get the idea that abortions are bad?

That is simple: most people believe that killing an 8 months old infant is unacceptable, some believe that doing the same for a -8 months old is the same. But from there it gets more complex, I've grown up in a country where abortion were illegal and I've seen the ugly side of the pro life option when mandated by law. A bright student I've known personally was dead at 20 (there were so many others like her), the orphelinates were full of unwanted children living a miserable life.

It's a problem with no good solution.

[promac]

just wondering, where do people get the idea that abortions are bad?

Probably the same place people get the idea that abortions are good. Of all the women I've known that have had an abortion, they've all been affected by it psychologically. Same goes for those that have given kids up for adoption. Unplanned pregnancy can really mess up ones life. If you consider the role that religion plays, if you really think about it, some of it is pretty sound advice. However, quite often, good advice is often hard to swallow.

[promac]

And if you would read my post again, you will note is said "If you're religious, chances are you're against abortion. If you're not, then chances are they're open to the idea and will use it if necessary."

Didn't say EVERYONE... just chances are...

There are many religious people who have had abortions. However, I don't think you'd find many who have kids that would advocate abortion. From the time conception takes place there is an expectation that a life will be brought into the world - that's what ultimately happens. For those that mis-carry, it's often considered a huge loss with considerable grief. Anyway, it's never an easy call to make.

[fastar1]

Unbelievable what some people think of sex and pregnancy. Pregnancy isn't an opt-in deal, it should be opt-out meaning you need a majority to abort. With only two voters that means they both have to be in favour of an abortion. IMO if the guy wants the kid and the girl doesn't, she should have to carry to term an help support the kid, just like the father would do. It's not HER body, it's THEIR fetus.

Sex has risks, just like anything else in life. We can do everything possible to reduce the risks but when something goes wrong we have to act responsibly not just say "I don't want the risk I took to cost me any money now" or "I don't want stretch marks or the 'teen mom' label". Of course if they both want to be selfish then it's better off for everyone to let them abort but let's be very clear; they are not being responsible they are being egotistical.

Awwww the poor chump can't have his degree and his party time like he planned, what a shame. Because we all know how it's impossible to raise a child without a higher education and a collection of good stories to tell from our drinking days, right? What else did he want that he can't have now, a bachelor condo on the 25th floor on Lakeshore? Please. You had your cum time now grow the F up.

I agree with the doctrine that it's her body, her choice.. However, males should be given the right to a "male abortion." That means that if she wants it and he doesn't, she can take care of it, without it being his responsibility. I'm sure fewer girls would decide to have those kids if they knew there were no child support cheques coming in. It would be quite a crushing blow to the professional mother industry.
It's bad enough that if he wants to keep the kid and she wants to abort, she can still abort.

P.S. This is coming from a guy who's married, doesn't sleep around and if we had a kid, I'd welcome it and do my damned best to be a stand-up father.

This is ridiculous. How many guys would chose not to pay because they're cheap selfish bastards? TONS! Guys in general tend to be complete losers that way. How the hell do you form a civilised society that way? And then what do you tell the kid? "You can't meet your dad or know who he is because he didn't want to spend a nickle on you"? For crying out loud people get a friggin clue!

[oilycreek]

Unbelievable what some people think of sex and pregnancy. Pregnancy isn't an opt-in deal, it should be opt-out meaning you need a majority to abort. With only two voters that means they both have to be in favour of an abortion. IMO if the guy wants the kid and the girl doesn't, she should have to carry to term an help support the kid, just like the father would do. It's not HER body, it's THEIR fetus.

Sex has risks, just like anything else in life. We can do everything possible to reduce the risks but when something goes wrong we have to act responsibly not just say "I don't want the risk I took to cost me any money now" or "I don't want stretch marks or the 'teen mom' label". Of course if they both want to be selfish then it's better off for everyone to let them abort but let's be very clear; they are not being responsible they are being egotistical.

Awwww the poor chump can't have his degree and his party time like he planned, what a shame. Because we all know how it's impossible to raise a child without a higher education and a collection of good stories to tell from our drinking days, right? What else did he want that he can't have now, a bachelor condo on the 25th floor on Lakeshore? Please. You had your cum time now grow the F up.



This is ridiculous. How many guys would chose not to pay because they're cheap selfish bastards? TONS! Guys in general tend to be complete losers that way. How the hell do you form a civilised society that way? And then what do you tell the kid? "You can't meet your dad or know who he is because he didn't want to spend a nickle on you"? For crying out loud people get a friggin clue!

You make some good points, but until man can carry a baby full term, it's her body, and her choice. We may not like it if she chose an abortion, but it's not our business.

[twinn]

I met women in a bar.. one night stand.. she happened to get pregnant.. we didnt know each other, there was no reason in hell we should be having a child together.. i made my wishes very clear when she was only a few weeks pregnant.. this is 2011 (was like 2009 then..) abortions are readily available, and about 50 bucks, which i offered to foot the bill for.. i didnt want it, and the key here is i voiced as much within the time that we could have done something about.. i would have a completely diffrent opinion if we both decided to have the baby and then the guy flakes, but no.. i said lets take care of it while we still could.. she said no, she was keeping it, and that was all there was too it. i had no say.

its definitely not right.

Now, Seriously, you had a one night stand with a women you met at a bar, why would you use your real name and give your real number??

umm, you do know that chicks who have one night stands usually use a fake name and never give a real number.......

should have played hardball, deny deny deny, just like OJ

[fastar1]

You make some good points, but until man can carry a baby full term, it's her body, and her choice. We may not like it if she chose an abortion, but it's not our business.

Sure, and she chose to have sex with her body, with full knowledge of the risks. Now the fetus is shared property, not hers.

[rafiki911]

And if the women decides to abort the child even though they discussed keeping it? Should a women have her tubes tied also if she doesn't want kids?

If a woman is serious about never wanting children then yes. If there is a couple that agrees they do not ever want children then I believe the man should have the tubes tied as it is less intrusive for the man to have it and a lot more complicated for the woman to have it done. I have friends who have done this and there are even threads on here about men that have had it done.

[FiReSTaRT]

This is ridiculous. How many guys would chose not to pay because they're cheap selfish bastards? TONS! Guys in general tend to be complete losers that way. How the hell do you form a civilised society that way? And then what do you tell the kid? "You can't meet your dad or know who he is because he didn't want to spend a nickle on you"? For crying out loud people get a friggin clue!

If the guy chooses not to pay, then the girl can contemplate other options (such as adoption) or just take care of the baby herself, on her own. The society won't fall apart with the introduction of administrative abortion. Most children are born because 2 people plan to have kids. Most of the unplanned pregnancies are from couples that would have had a kid anyway, so they don't mind it. Unfortunately, too big of a percentage of the rest comes from professional mothers who deliberately sabotage birth control in order to live off government cheques and child support. I've dealt with too many of those and they make me sick to the stomach. You think the kid gets even half of those child support cheques? Or even a quarter? Oh no, all that gets spent on momma's booze, drugs, makeup and outings.

[fastar1]

If the guy chooses not to pay, then the girl can contemplate other options (such as adoption) or just take care of the baby herself, on her own. The society won't fall apart with the introduction of administrative abortion. Most children are born because 2 people plan to have kids. Most of the unplanned pregnancies are from couples that would have had a kid anyway, so they don't mind it. Unfortunately, too big of a percentage of the rest comes from professional mothers who deliberately sabotage birth control in order to live off government cheques and child support. I've dealt with too many of those and they make me sick to the stomach. You think the kid gets even half of those child support cheques? Or even a quarter? Oh no, all that gets spent on momma's booze, drugs, makeup and outings.

You can't choose not to pay! It's like driving before insurance was mandatory and you caused a crash, maybe a severe injury or death. You can't just choose not to pay fer crying out loud!!! This is a human being.

[FiReSTaRT]

You can't choose not to pay! It's like driving before insurance was mandatory and you caused a crash, maybe a severe injury or death. You can't just choose not to pay fer crying out loud!!! This is a human being.

Actually, I'm going with the analogy of you driving, somebody jumping out of your car and making you take care of them for the rest of their life because you injured them. That would be more fitting to the example I was giving. That's coming from a guy who found puncture marks on his rubbers (fortunately before the act)

[CruisnGrrl]

Actually, I'm going with the analogy of you driving, somebody jumping out of your car and making you take care of them for the rest of their life because you injured them. That would be more fitting to the example I was giving. That's coming from a guy who found puncture marks on his rubbers (fortunately before the act)

actually some one sabotaging your brakes before you let them on your bike with you would be a better analogy, you chose to let them on and didn't do a walk around....

[fastar1]

actually some one sabotaging your brakes before you let them on your bike with you would be a better analogy, you chose to let them on and didn't do a walk around....

This.